Page 14

The ramblings of an old git

Bloggoth Mission Statement:

We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

MRSA

Dorothy had heard about the killer bugs in British hospitals but until that first visiting hour she had not realised how bad the situation had become.

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Google Crappy Earth

Yesterday I decided to install Google Earth and see what all the fuss is about. I had hoped that come the summer I could spy on the woman down the bottom of the road sunbathing in her bikini. Fat hope! What a load of crap! No, I really don't care if there are better images of some other places, if there are no decent pictures of all the places I want to look at it's crap.

Still, at least I won't get the entire world population staring at the same spot hoping to see the magnificent xoggoth sunbathing in his bikini!

PS. The blue thing is the flooded quarry where all the bird fluey geese congregate before migrating.

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Hat tip to a socialist

We reserve our real spleen for those who actually harm or imminently threaten us like the stinking government, we cannot get quite so worked up as the Devil about a minor cog in the socialist machine, but this comment did give us an idea:

Find out what I mean by accessing it for yourself, try googling Cllr. Terry Kelly and go into some of the blogs which are attacking me

So! Someone with quite a few hits, linked to by bloggers from both sides of the political spectrum inviting visitors to check Google for others mentioning his name. We at Bloggoth are always on the look out for ways of getting more hits that don't require us to do any work or spend any money.

Cllr. Terry Kelly
Cllr. Terry Kelly
Cllr. Terry Kelly
Cllr. Terry Kelly
Cllr. Terry Kelly

Cheers councillor, if we get a few more hits we owe you one and won't say a single nasty thing about you even if you are a horrible lefty sort.

Pruning

We have pruned the links at left to remove those that either hardly ever got updated or which on reflection we decided did not like that much anyway.

PS. Ms Ohara, you are in the first category even if you are a Guardian reader, as is Threaded but I think three months of the coffee machine at work being broken is as much as we can take.

PPS. We have spared one OBVIOUS culprit in the hardly ever updates anything class, i.e. Wolfie, as he has a link to this blog. Fair's fair, but get yer finger out, there's a good chap! (PPPS your comment thing seems to be broke otherwise we might have honoured your latest effort with our wisdom!)

Bloggoth Pidgeon hospital

There has been an outbreak of bird flu on a British turkey farm. On the TV news this morning there was speculation that it might have been brought in by a pidgeon and no doubt there will be the usual hue and cry about wild birds.

What is this? Horrible human migrants bring in all sorts of loathsome diseases that we know can infect the rest of us and get NHS treatment at our expense while nice little pidgeons and other birds get culled for something that, so far, has only affected Chinese and others who will insist on shagging their poultry. We have advised against this practice before but nobody listens to us.

Needless to say, given a choice between nice little birds being killed and a slight risk of a much overdue culling of 6bn people, most of whom are horribly common anyway and do common jobs, if they do anything at all, like welding drainpipes or cleaning taxis, we at Bloggoth have got our priorities right.

We appear to be completely immune to flu anyway* so we therefore intend to start a bird hospital in our garden where pidgeons and others can be tucked up and fed birdseed dipped in LemSip while being encouraged to cough and sneeze in the direction of our neighbours.

A NICE little pidgeon who is feeling a bit poorly arrives at the Bloggoth hospital today

*Note: We put this down to the vast amounts of lime juice we consume with our vast amounts of vodka.

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Another Bloggoth exclusive on the nanny state

Bloggoth has learned of another policy initiative soon to be announced by the goverment. It seems that they have largely given up on the idea of parenting classes in favour of more direct action which will finally make the nanny state a reality.

From as early as the week following the next half term, some seven million primary school children whose parents have been identified as failing for such things as not giving them enough toys or failing to clean their shoes properly, can look forward to receiving regular letters from the government with lots of useful advice including "Put on a warm cardi before you go outside or you'll catch your death" and "Don't forget to brush your teeth before you go to bed".

The government is also setting up a child help line that upset children can phone. Helpline assistants are currently being specially trained to give such assurance such as "Of course there are no monsters under the bed, there's no such thing as monsters" or "It's ok, Rover is happy in doggy heaven"

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Kick back against religion

You might have thought we no longer had prosecutions for blasphemy in the UK but take a look at this.

I am getting fed up to the back teeth with religion. There was a time, just a few years ago, when I was pretty tolerant of it and would often defend it against the idiocies of fellow atheists.

Religion the cause of all the trouble in the world? how many times have I heard that? Very convincing if you ignore the cold war, both world wars, the Vietnam war, the Korean war and in fact almost every damn war and conflict since the seventeeth century. The fact is that in a supposedly rational and science-based society people would still find reasons to fight.

I am always suspicious too of atheists who treat atheism as a religion and whose absolute belief in the non-existence of god looks like an act of faith. You cannot disprove the existence of god so who are they trying to convince? I am an atheist simply because I never managed to find an ounce of faith anywhere in my mundane engineer's nature or find any rational answers to the host of contradictions raised by organised religion. I was never hostile to religion and still have a considerable respect for the Catholic church.

Now I am no longer prepared to tolerate. Tolerance is a two way process and increasingly religion is seeking to impose its simplistic and ill-founded solutions to society's ills on the rest of us. It is not just the obsessive compulsive disorder that is Islam, increasingly Christianity is becoming more authoritarian, boosted by the flow of immigrants and by bible belt lunacy from America.

So many Christian sites peddle the idea that all we need to do is return to a more religious society, with all the losses in freedoms that entails for the rest of us and we will have some instant solution to all our problems, rape, violence, drunkeness, you name it, will vastly diminish. The problem is it isn't true, there is no correlation whatever of religious belief with crime. Have a look at this list of murders per thousand in various countries round the world and this survey of the percentages listing religion as highly important. Not all countries are in both lists but if you take those that are and plot them, this is what you get:-

It is time that the secular society stared biting back and insisting on addressing society's problems in rational and workable ways and defending the great many benefits, like personal freedom in our private lives, that it has brought us.

PS: Lest it should seem from above graph that religion actually causes violence, that impression is largely given by one country, South Africa, and is not statistically significant. The inference from the graph as a whole is that religion is not related to violence in any way all. I shall update this graph from time to time if more figures come to light and I do not expect the random scatter to change.

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Removing the elderly

It occurs to me that with the supposed problems of increasing longevity and an ageing non-working population it will not be long before the government is trying to bump off pensioners even more transparently than it does now by denying proper health care that they have already paid for so it can spend billions on other things, like HIV drugs for African immigrants who have paid bugger all.

It is an added incentive that so many more now pay death duties due to Lying Scottish Brownstuff's failure to index the death duty threshold with house prices or even with any cost of living index that has some semblance to reality. The bastard must be itching get hold of all that money so he can donate it to the most useless sections of the younger populace, especially those who are most needy because they have never done a day's useful work in their lives or spent all their dosh on fags and skiploads of children who are even more dim witted than they are.

The interview with Richard Hammond will have shown the way I reckon. Richard survived because he is young, I doubt anyone forty years older would have made it. Watch out for the government encouraging the elderly to participate in dangerous sports. Naturally they will promote this as a health benefit, pointing out how exercise and excitement keep the mind and body active.

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Latest news

Global warming sorted

Experts today pronounced the anticipated crisis in global warming to be over following actions during a space walk by one Lieutenant Sanders, currently serving aboard the International Space Station.

Lietenant Saunders, who is a keen gardener and grows orchids in his large greenhouse at his home in Wisconsin, modestly told reporters "It was obvious really, I just did what I always do when it gets too hot in my greenhouse and opened the window in the roof"

There are red faces among experts and goverment leaders all over the world who are kicking themselves and saying "Why didn't I think of that?"

A new BA strike

It seems that no sooner have BA averted a strike by cabin crew than they have run into another one by their pilots, who are taking wildcat action.

Bloggoth has learned that the pilots of 12 flights heading for Heathrow have downed tools and are refusing to land their aircraft until safety procedures are improved. A spokeman for the pilots said today "We are not coming down until our demands are met".

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Decorating the house

News in the DT this week that millions of homes are being photographed inside and out by stinking council tax inspectors that can be used as an excuse to push up even more this iniquitous tax which bears no relation to the continually diminishing benefits we receive. Taxes of every type are rising continuously while we get less and less for it.

Government at every level is robbing us blind and chucking the money away on things, the EU, useless and criminal immigrants, pointless wars, ever increasing rights for the feckless and the lawless who perform no duties, wealth redistribution without consideration of effect or merit of the recipients, an explosion of feather bedded administrators and ever more complicated and unworkable laws.

The inspectors are expected to note whether a householder is potentially* abusive or violent when conducting the internal inspection. Let us hope they meet a great many such. Let us hope there are so many stinking council inspectors' brains splattered over newly decorated extensions that it gives them pause for thought.

*We have no idea what "potentially" abusive means either. Perhaps they have to note if your expression looks sinister.

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What a pile of crap

I am referring to this exposition on global warming (found on Ranting Stans blog) by someone describing himself as a scientist. And yes, I do have some idea what I am talking about, I have a first class honours degree in engineering and have spent years in simulation - covering coal milling, cement plant, power stations, oil and gas separation, gas production (you should see the complexity in that), nuclear submarines, surface naval craft and aircraft.

The accuracy of a simulation is not obtained by taking the percentage error of every value, every equation, and every assumption and multiplying them together to obtain a final accuracy. Not all errors cause the same effect to the same extent or effect the results in the same direction, it is far more complex than that. I could give you an example of a phase calculation where, if trying to predict boiling point from phase (relative percentage of liguid and vapour) you can be less than a degree out. Using the same equations and values for the opposite, predicting phase from boiling point, and you can be way out. It depends what you are trying to do. The fact is that, using just the basic maths, we produced simulations of complex plant that were realistic enough that operators could use them for training and accurate enough to prove the control system designs. The control system manufacturers could put them on the real plant and they worked.

This scientist also trots out the fallacy one hears so often:

Physicists just don't know how to deal with hypercomplex systems like the earth weather. That's why a recent NASA scientist was wildly wrong when he called anthropogenic warming "just basic physics."

The earth weather may be a hypercomplex system but that does not mean the NASA scientist is wrong. I have blogged this before but in summary you can draw a parallel with trying to predict the exact rate of warming at a single point in kettle. Due to the number of factors involved this can be hard to do precisely, but you can certainly predict that the kettle will boil and with a few basic measurements and a small number of physical constants have a pretty good idea when. If a reputable scientist says we will warm 3'c in a century, one could query it but it does not necessarily mean that the world is not warming due to man's activities.

Whatever the error in rate we do at least know basic cause and effects and this is probably what that NASA scientist was saying. Let us assume for the sake of argument that the scientist's most basic postulate is right, viz, that CO2 and CH4 are actually greenhouse gases and trap more heat. We know that rising temperatures will release CH4 from tundra, from subsea hydrates and from soil generally. No, it is not a theory, WE KNOW IT, because that is the most basic thermodyamics. Dispute that and you must think that water condenses when you heat it. By the same token, WE KNOW that if temperatures rise the polar icecaps will melt. We also KNOW, because this is the most basic heat transfer, that if the polar icecaps melt the absorbtion of heat from the sun will increase. Again, dispute that and you must think a black surface reflects more than a white one.

Warming due to CO2/CH4 is therefore creating two feedback mechanisms. Warming must accelerate unless some other factors counteract them. That last sentence, with its proviso, is not debatable. To dispute the mechanism you must either a) refute the fundamental postulate that CO2 is really a significant greenhouse gas or b) invoke the proviso and produce those major counteracting factors, more cloud cover or advancing deserts in the tropics reflecting heat perhaps. It is entirely irrelevant that the weather forecaster got the weather wrong on your birthday barbecue.

You need to study the details regarding the assumptions used in a study too. Scientists seeking a safe conclusion will take account of the probable range of each source of error and deliberately seek values so that they can be confident which direction the error lies in. If a reputable scientific study says the earth will warm 3'C in a century and the probable error is 2'C that does not mean that 1'C is just as likely as 5'C.

There are a lot of claims and counter claims on this and I do not necessarily say that any qualified scientists who argue against it are wrong (I do not know the physics behind that basic CO2=greenhouse gas equation yet), but the vast majority of comments I have seen by those arguing against global warming seem to be by those who do not have the slightest clue what they are talking about.

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Squid

We are getting used to the rest of the world leeching upon the brilliance of bloggoth. Today The Times had news of how British fisherman, unable to catch the fast diminishing fish in British waters, are now catching the squid which are becoming more common with the warming of British waters.

"Bloggoth advised fishermen to catch squid instead of fish?" I hear my non existent readers cry. Well, not exactly, we advised people to eat slugs instead of fish but it's almost the same thing, slugs and squids are both molluscs with a very similar name. Squids are clearly a necessary first step for a conservative and cautious public. In only a couple of years, once the public, like the French or Spanish, are more used to eating molluscs, I have no doubt that some public figure will say "Why don't we eat slugs?" and present it as his own idea.

We at Bloggoth do not really mind. It is reward enough to be the light of the world.

*Note Donated to the EU, rot in hell!, Edward Heath.

Squid are really nice little creatures* and it is hard to see how anyone could want to kill and eat them anyway. Or slugs come to that, why can't we eat stupid ugly people? nobody would miss them!

Perhaps we should have an invertebrate dating agency for stupid ugly people. Hello Mr Geek, we have the perfect match for you, well ok, she's a cockroach, but she just loves Star Trek! Interests Ms Scum? Watching Big Brother? You want an intellectual soulmate? No problem, now where did we put that jar of amoebae?

*Note: Yes I know giant squid are about the longest creatures on earth but to xoggoth all creatures that are not stinking people (or kittens) are "nice little creatures". Rhino, Elephant, Blue whale, they are all nice little creatures, just like earwigs but bigger.

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Impressive

It is rare that xoggoth is impressed by human beings (other than himself that is) but there was an item on the TV tonight, one of the few things in months other than the news and things involving zombies, that we have seen that was worth watching.

This youth has been blind since infancy and finds his way round by clicking and using a sort of echo location. It isn't really that so much, as the positivism both by the kid himself and his mother.

Flutter

I suppose it is not unheard of to see the occasional insect on a very warm day in winter, but apart from the previous week or two when things have been more normal, insects have never gone away this year. Walk in the woods or the garden and there is usually an occasional thing flying around. The wife saw a bee a few weeks back. Today on the patio there was a butterfly fluttering about! Painted Lady I think, they fly from May to October normally. Fitting as the only butterfly I have seen in winter before was one that was hibernating in the garage and fell off a shelf onto a panel I was painting. Attempted to clean its little wings but it didn't make it. Whether it was a lady or not I am not sure, it's not decent to look at an insect's naughty bits when its drawing its last little breath. Whatever the cause, the globe, in these parts at least, sure is warming.

Prison crisis

The prison crisis, with a particularly interesting graph showing how the government has failed to act on its own projections, is covered rather well by Burning Your Money this week. I have a few specific comments to add.

The wriggling of ministers and especially {He Whom It Would Be Morally Justifiable To Stab Although I Am Not Personally Calling For His Stabbing} was laughable. Yes, of course it is appropriate to take into account economic factors when sentencing, like most taxpayers I do not want to be spending tens of thousands a year to keep an offender in prison if he is not dangerous and his cost to society is far smaller outside, but a rational policy taking account of cost effectiveness is a very different thing from a panic decision because of a total failure to act over a long predicted situation. Oh yes! nothing has changed, they were just "reminding" judges of the need to take account of all factors. What effect did they expect such a reminder to have if not to raise the weighting judges should give to this problem that should never have arisen anyway?

There have been predictable arguments from left and right, either that too many people are jailed or that a long period of too soft sentences has failed to deter. They both have a point. The Independent's cover story today gives a number of cases that they reckon should not have resulted in imprisonment. Not sure I agreewith all of their examples, but undoubtably there are prisoners in the UK that could be dealt with more effectively outside prison. Equally some not in prison that should be, and here, in the end, I would include all persistent offenders. If nothing else works (although that chance has to be given) what else can you do but protect society by removing them from it?

One thing the liberal brigade overemphasise in my view and that is the importance of getting people off drugs. Most crimes are caused by addicts trying to fund their addiction runs the argument, so if we can just provide enough places at rehab. centres crime will be greatly reduced. Reduced perhaps but a major impact? I doubt it. Certainly there are some normal people with jobs and stable lives who get hooked on drugs due to the company they fall in with or a curious nature. There will be some normal people with jobs and stable lives who turn to drugs to cope with some unforeseen problem in their lives that they did not seek. People like that can probably be helped.

But I suspect the idea that most drug users were useful members of society who will contribute again if they can just be helped to kick the habit is wide of the mark. Everything that one sees and reads about the issue suggests that drugs are not the main cause of social dependence and criminality but rather the resort of those who are already inadequate and criminally inclined.

One indignant young lady on a rough council estate, when interviewed on the news this week over the plan to give shopping vouchers to addicts as an incentive to stay off drugs, put it rather well. "Once a crackhead, always a crackhead"

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Why are we always up America's arse????

No offence to the two Yanks on my blogroll at left who are exempted (anyone who hates Islam or likes H.P. Lovecraft can do no wrong at Bloggoth*) but why do we British have to put up with this one sided relationship?

"What's brought this bout of USophobia on??" cry my non-existent readers! It must be the news, yet again, that British citizens are being extradited to the US under a totally one-sided treaty and moreover for something which, at the time it was done, was not even an offence in the UK. This is wrong, wrong wrong! I do not care what is done, if someone was taking advantage of a loophole in the law to cut up children and put them into pork pies**, if it was done in the UK and if it was not illegal in the UK at the time there should never, ever, be prosecution. Least of all should they be prosecuted for supposed offences because of some rather tenuous link with another country and the arrogant assumption of that country that its courts should have some right to prosecute offences committed outside it, especially when that country is barbaric enough to impose the death penalty.***

If control of British law is not being donated to the EU it is being donated to the US. Alone among EU countries only the UK perform this second abdication. For what? In WWII they joined only after Pearl Harbour when it suited their purpose. In Suez**** it was the US that completely scuppered what had been a successful mission. On the Falklands, public neutrality. We got a lot more real help from the French. If the UK was under any real threat what support could the UK expect for the support given in the Gulf War, Afghanistan and Iraq? Let us just hope that it would suit the US's interests to lend a hand because, if US Republican blogs are any guide, there is nothing else that matters. An ally in US Republican eyes is only to be judged by what they said or did last week.

So that's what's brought this bout of USophobia on? Nah! This is Bloggoth, we don't care about serious stuff like that! We watched a repeat of The New Adventures Of Superman on TV this evening. Why is the nasty ungrateful villain always British? It always used to be the same in the Action Force cartoons too.

*Actually those two are closely related if you think about it although it may not seem evident on first sight.

**A damn good idea some might think, provided they were given a really good wash first.

***From Wikipedia, countries that have executed juvenile offenders since 1990 include China, D.R. Congo, Iran, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, the U.S. and Yemen. Proud company to be in, US!

****Not that Bloggoth agrees with the idiotic venture in Suez

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UN secretary generals

Talking of silly, is there a rule that gives preference to people with silly names as secretary general of the UN? There are plenty of foreign names which are not silly, for example Abdul Kalam, Pervez* Musharraf, Yoweri Museveni or Jiang Zemin, but just check out the names of UN secretary generals.

The rule was kicked off by the first secretary, a British man called Gladwyn Jebb. Gladwyn Jebb? These days we could have sent Lembik Opik but back in 1945 everyone in the British establishment who was not a Jones or a Mcdonald was called John Caruthers. I daresay that the UK put forward several blokes called Caruthers who all got rejected as the name was not silly enough so they eventually found some bloke called Gladwyn Jebb in a Dartford lunatic asylum and sent him. The name still wasn't silly enough apparently so he was only an interim secretary general until they found someone called Trygve Halvdan Lie to replace him. Nobody with a name like Lie should ever be in politics, too close to the truth!

There was a bit of a decline at one point with Kurt Waldheim and Pérez de Cuéllar not being silly names but the tradition has revived more recently with Boutros Boutros-Ghali*, Kofi Annan and now Ban Ki-moon who will inevitably be referred to by US Republican bloggers who called Annan Goofy Anus as W*nky Moron.

*Actually Pervez is a bit of a hostage to fortune but mostly he is just referred to as General Musharraf so it's ok

*Note: I am sure we are not alone on bloggoth that on the rare occasions we mentioned Boutros Boutros-Ghali in conversation we felt obliged to stick in so many extra Boutroses that by the time we had finished his name we had quite forgotten what we wanted to say. Damn good job too some might say.

Bloggoth Silly Award

We have not had a silly award for a while and this item is spoiled by one (I think) serious comment, but these customer reviews on "A Whole New World" by Katie Price and Peter Andre just about qualify.

No 10 second email system

News in the cash for honours scandal tonight that Number 10 had a secret second email system.

Since the news has leaked out we may as well reveal that it was Bloggoth which discovered this through one of our many informers and sent a number of email items to the police a week ago. I cannot publish emails connected with the current investigation for fear of compromising the enquiry and for other legal reasons cannot give names of all of the recipients but here are a few from the PM himself which make interesting reading.

Number 10 Downing Street
20th August 2002

Dear ***,

Splendid work on the dossier regarding WMD held by Saddam Hussein but I think we need something a bit stronger to justify the invasion. Can you sex it up a bit? You know the sort of thing, hidden missiles, huge stockpiles of gas and so on as we discussed last week. I look forward to something that will really put the wind up the populace by next week and make them feel it will be billions well spent.

Kind regards,
Tony

Number 10 Downing Street
7 February 2003

Dear General ***,

Damn nuisance but there's a big anti-Iraq protest next week. I would be most grateful, and you know what I mean, if you could arrange for a good show of force at major airports, tanks would be splendid. It is very important that we create the impression of a major terrorist threat whenever possible as that will help the public swallow all the reductions in their freedom. Thanks for lending me the book, you are right, that Dr Geobbels was a very sound chap for a nazi.

Kind Regards,
Tony

Number 10 Downing Street
2nd March 2003

My Dear Lord Goldsmith,

I was disappointed that your preliminary findings were that invasion of Iraq would be unlawful under international law. I am sure I do not have to point out the importance of a sound legal basis both for myself and for George. I trust I do not need to remind you about the consequences if your "little indiscretions" came to the attentions of the police either. I am sure a rethink will enable you to come to the right decision.

Yours Sincerely,
Tony Blair

Number 10 Downing Street
11th July 2003

Dear ***,

This Dr Kelly is proving to be a damn nuisance. We have tried every other way but he will not shut up. Please take steps to silence him ASAP would you? I don't think I have to tell you that it needs to look like suicide, perhaps he could slit his wrists in a wood or something.

Kind Regards,
Tony

Number 10 Downing Street
4th January 2004

My Dear Lord Hutton,

I was delighted to see you the other day and was most pleased with your report. Please be assured that the second instalment of the little favour we discussed will be with you as soon as your report clearing the government of any wrong doing or error has been presented to the house.

Kind Regards,
Tony

Number 10 Downing Street
10th December 2005

Dear ****

The crisis in the NHS is a major problem and I'm afraid that Gordon won't release any more cash, what with the cost of Iraq and all. Still, there is always a silver lining, if we can't avoid hospital closures, we can at least make sure that most of them are in Tory or Lib Dem areas. We can always leak it that the problem is waste of money by their councils, the electorate are too stupid to know how hospitals are funded anyway.

Kind Regards,
Tony

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Catholics and gay adoption

As we have often pointed out, we at Bloggoth are generally pro gay "rights". Why not? For the most part they really do not affect anyone else. If people do not like the idea of what gays do in bed then there's a simple solution, stop thinking about it. As for the "argument" usually trotted out by homophobes, when pressed for a reason, that it's "unnatural", do us a favour! Unnatural in the context of human behaviour?? Tell you what, you "unnatural" viewpointers, when you are living naked in the woods subsisting on snails and berries and whatever else you can find we might take your stupid argument seriously.

So (eaving aside the wisdom of placing children in the sole care of men at all) we should be against the Catholic and other churches on this. No, wholly with them. It is all about the balance of rights and yet again this government has got it wrong. Individual freedom should always prevail unless there is a rational (i.e. not religious) reason in the public interest or unless the freedom is contrary to the freedom of others. This measure fails on the second count. If Catholics or others were actively campaigning to prevent these facilities being available to gays it would be different but they are not. Why exactly should Catholics be expected to perform a task that is contrary to their consciences? The threat to withdraw their service has nothing to do with blackmail but only with defending their own individual freedoms.

The Catholic agencies are apparently very effective on placing the hard to place children. Given that hardly any gays adopt anyway and few would try and do so through a Catholic agency it seems extraordinary that the government is going to make an issue of this if kids who might have had a decent real home will end up staying in state care.

Oh well! It seems entirely consistent; this government has no grasp of what individual freedom is, no idea what democracy is, and is quite happy to kill people by the tens of thousands for no better reason than an egomaniac's poor judgement and desire for a place in history. What do a few thousand unhappy kids matter really?

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Freedom dying in the UK

It's another tiny item not on the net, but the DT today reports that committment to individual freedom is withering away in the UK. Only half now believe it's a big deal if an innocent person is convicted if we can catch the guilty. One in four is now happy for a person to be interviewed by police with no representation. Almost half support trial without jury.

This is largely down to the insidious propoganda by this government that justifies these and other measures either by the results of its own blunders (Iraq) or by for no good reason whatsoever (e.g. what is the point of identity cards to deter illegal immigration if illegal immigrants are never deported when caught anyway?).

Between these scumbags in power and the backward religious viewpoints of migrants from the third world* our freedom is being strangled in the UK before it ever really got going.

*Note: And the US we suspect, we intend to check out the power behind these idiot creationist Evangelical sects shortly.

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Say no more! Denouncing coincidence for its awful racism

I am sure I am not the only one who, on hearing certain types of crime news, such as street shootings, voting fiddles or credit card fraud, will cry "SAY NO MORE!". Thus it was with news on TV tonight that schools are being infiltrated by drug gangs in certain areas. "SAY NO MORE" I cried. "Certain areas" it then emerged included Haringay. "WELL!, SAY NO MORE, SAY NO MORE" I repeated.

The problem is that when one goes "SAY NO MORE" in this way, at least four times out of five, when and if the details of the culprits emerge, one's awful assumptions turn out to be correct. Must be coincidence. I hate that horrible racist coincidence. It should be prosecuted.

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New laws on phones

More laws on use of mobile phones while driving will be here very shortly.

Probably sensible this one given the figures, but we cannot help wondering about the rationality behind the idea that any mobile conversation, even using a handsfree, is equally as dangerous. Not saying it isn't true but in that case why do we allow any conversation? A certain person of my acquaintance can never speak without gesticulating as if conducting the London Philarmonic Orchestra in the 1812 overture. What about tuning the radio or scratching?

Clearly what we need are MORE restrictions, after all, EVERY law that restricts our freedoms HAS to be a good idea and if it costs us lots of money to comply with it and leads to lots more fines for government coffers to support ~~beurocrats and third world parasites~~ dedicated public servants and hard working migrants so much the better! Detecting the crime is the problem and we therefore deplore the government's timidity in proposing a box in our cars merely to implement road charging using Satnav technology.

What a wasted opportunity, in addition to implementing road charging, and the costlier the better we say, the box should be voice enabled and equipped with CCTV and automatic behaviour recognition software that can nag and berate us continuously while driving using one of those irritating female US computer voices. "YOU DIDNT' PICK YOUR NOSE JUST THEN DID YOU?"

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Star Trek the reality

Why stop there? Boxes in the car? No! What we want, nay! demand! is chips embedded in our brains to prevent us committing any sort of driving or other offence in the first place. The lack of fines would not a problem as the government can then just force our brains to want to pay lots of money to them anyway.

Did you ever wonder if the races in Star Trek were intended to be racial stereotypes? Were the trade-mad Ferengi Asian cornershop keepers? Were the dark complexioned, long-haired, dagger-carrying Klingons exaggerated Sihks?

Were the compliant Borg the English? Who better to be the first to adopt the implanted behaviour guidance system than the stupid uneducated supine bunch of doormats we have become?

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Modern pillage

Hundreds of people have made off with valuable hauls from some 40 containers which have drifted onto Branscombe beach after the grounding of the Napoli. Nothing actually illegal provided their booty is declared to the receiver of Wrecks within 48 days and local police have been handing out forms so scavengers can do so.

The REAL danger here is that people in those parts will realise what they have been missing since the 18th century when wreckers supposedly lured many ships with false lights on to the rocky coastlines of Cornwall and Devon, descending on to the beaches going "oh aaaar! oh aaaar! pickin's for all", slaughtering the hapless sailors and spiriting the goods away before the dreaded excise men could arrive.

Even your average Wayne and Sean will know that navigation has moved on and there is not much chance of luring an 80,000 ton container ship onto the rocks with a cliff-top bonfire these days. Lorry drivers in the region should watch out for phony diversions on roundabouts that lead them into back alleys behind council flats. If you hear anything that sounds even remotely like "oh aaaar! oh aaaar! pickin's for all" lock the doors and call the police.

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Libya leads the way

It is not often that Arab nations are praised in the West but this is simply brilliant!

There are a few details I might disagree with, why lay off a third of public sector workers when you could probably lay off at least 50% of the useless bastards without any discernable impact and why compensate them? Are there no prisons? are there no workhouses? are there no gas chambers? Still, a damn good start!

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The real reason

It seems that Hilary Clinton's campaign is gaining momentum before it has officially started. Will she be the first WOMAN president of the US? Or could Barack Obama be the first BLACK president of the United States?

Naturally we at bloggoth think it terrible that the choice of the great US people could be so limited. Is either of them disabled? Is either of them gay or lesbian? Or (definitely) Muslim? Or an illegal Mexican immigrant? If not why not?

Personally, we think that Hilary is only running so she can get revenge on Bill by being caught out having her flaps sucked in the Oval Office by a young intern.

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Corrupt to the core (and as guilty as sin)

The government has accused the police of theatrics over the early morning arrest of Ruth Turner.

Let's see, shall we? Type "Dawn Raids" in Google for yourself and you will see that this seems to be standard procedure whenever there is evidence to be obtained, especially when the suspects, or more relevant in this case, the evidence, may disappear where there is ample warning such as an "invitation" to appear at the police station as some ministers have suggested. These are just a few off the first two pages:

Turner has been accused of "perverting the course of justice" and one does not have to be a genius to figure out what that means in this case - hiding or destroying evidence. This is a most serious offence and by definition is the last sort of offence where the police should be providing advance warning that a house may be searched.

This government appears to believe that what they are alleged to have done is somehow trivial or a technicality. I do not think most of the public share this view, if they are guilty it is the most appalling abuse of power and the worst sort of corruption and far worse than selling a few boxes of counterfeit cigarettes or breaking trading laws.

They further seem to think that those suspected should be treated in a wholly different and more deferent way by the police than common criminals and feel it is ok to exert every sort of ministerial pressure to ensure this. This is a police matter that seems to be being conducted in the same way that would be applied to any case even half as serious and the fact that this government is using governmental authority to protect party members from normal processes illustrates just how utterly corrupt and self seeking they are.

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The drivel they come out with - does any sane person believe it?

It isn't newsworthy enough to be on the net but a minor item today in the DT says that While visiting India the Lying Fat Scottish C*nt Brownstuff has said how he "drew inspiration from Mahatma Ghandi".

Why do politicians come out with this drivel? I bet you he knew absolutely sweet FA about Ghandi, apart from what the rest of know anyway, until he went to India and it was politic to trot out such crap. Wish I had been a reporter there, I would have quizzed him about exactly what this inspiration was until it became quite apparent his knowledge ended at what he had mugged up on the night before or seen in the film.

Much like his knowledge of economics really.

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Stormy weather

We at Bloggoth take global warming very seriously and always do our bit, turning lights off, leaving weeds to grow on the patio and, in the morning, always farting BEFORE we get out of bed so the methane stays trapped under the bedclothes. Imagine our annoyance to come home today and find that the fence we repaired after last week's storms has been damaged again by this week's storms.

This extreme weather is all the fault of you deniers who do not pull your weight, if one of you does not get round here pretty damn quick and mend my fence there will be hell to pay!

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BBFFS!

What a ridiculous hoohah over the comments of a few thickos! It means nothing and anyone who believes you would not get similar or worse from a bunch of thickos from any culture under similar circumstances must live locked away in a broom cupboard. The real scandal is that millions of people should want to watch this drivelling crap at all. There are clearly two measures which must be taken:

1 xoggoth must be given charge of Channel Four's programs. Very soon, people will no longer be watching the antics of horrible thick uneducated common people, instead they will be spending their time profitably watching hours of really interesting and educational stuff, like wasps eating jam.

2 The other measure is obvious.

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Matt

The Cartoon by Matt in the DT sums it up.

Bloggoth cleans up at the Golden Bloggoth awards

Awards are in the news this week Why isn't there a major British-organised blog award? We refuse to count ones organised by the Guardian or Bloggers for (PUKE!) Labour. Since nobody else has bothered, we have started one. The award ceremony is tonight at our crummy flat in Somewhere In England Town.

Actually it started 5 minutes ago. We are a bit disappointed at the turnout we must say, where is everybody? We have gone to such trouble and expense too, with a couple of packets of crisps and can of coke to share around. We have even rigged up a telephone amp so we could hear from any foreign entrants, they only had to pay for the call . Oh well, xoggoth is at his splendid best anyway and has quite made up for the sparseness of the entries. Due to the complete apathy of the rest of you we only had one nomination in each of the categories this year, so without further ado:

Best all round blog It's (opens envelope) xoggoth for Bloggoth! Easily the most brilliant, original, rational and witty site on the web and doing a great job promoting nice little creatures over horrible stinking humans who never talk to him.

Best hate site. It's (puts paper in same envelope then opens envelope, we are not made of envelopes you know!) xoggoth for Bloggoth! For absolutely stirling work in promoting torture of cute kittens, unwaverering expression of contempt for horrible common people and violent irrational hatred towards all forms of authority, whether religious or secular.

Best educational site. It's (from same envelope yet again) xoggoth for Bloggoth! Such informative posts as containing evil when mentioning politicians' names, cheating on hits and comments plus lots of other things too, probably, which we can't be bothered to look for.

Special award for site most often mentioning sex with inverterbrates. (Opens same envelope, carefully smooths and puts back in envelope packet, waste not want not we say). Yes it's... Bloggoth. Out in a league of its own yet again!

Best non-British site. No entries in this category so we may as well give the prize to xoggoth for Bloggoth. We did post the odd photo from Italy and Ireland after all.

Congratulations to Bloggoth for this clean sweep. We would normally hear a speech from the immensely talented, indeed, godlike xoggoth, writer, creator, editor, producer and coder of the brilliant Bloggoth but unfortunately he is in a Smirnoff induced coma on the floor as usual.

As for the rest of you, better luck next year!

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The lies and fiddles go on

The "official" cost of living reaches an eleven year high. Government is keen to point out that this is due to factors outide their control, mainly high fuel prices. But most of what we pay for road fuel is tax and Whitehall statisticians said Lying C*nt Bronwstuff's decision to increase fuel duties was the biggest factor behind rising prices. Vast state overspending (to no effect) does not help.

The utterly fiddled CPI was fiddled even further by the removal of house prices and council tax by you know who. A figure that does not include everything people have to pay out of gross wages (including tax and employer's and employee's NI) weighted according to actual effect across the whole population is not a proper figure at all. Every time figures do not suit this government they fiddle them so they do.

A Terror Suspect has absconded. Government is keen to make out that this is due to an unsatisfactory system foisted upon them, they wanted indefinite detention but the judges thwarted them. But judges do not make human rights laws, they only interpret them. Who is responsible for creating or adopting such legislation? The government of course!

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Truth is relative but lies are absolute

We believe that the Lying Fat Scottish C*nt Brownstuff has said something about the union recently.

We have no idea what he said exactly and have not the slightest interest in finding out. Although we believe the situation of the Scots having a say in purely English affairs MUST be remedied, we have otherwise always been fairly indifferent to the issue. If the Scottish want independence we can see no overriding reason why they should not have it as long it does not involve the English spending money on anyone but the English. However, we understand that the lies of the evil lying one were in favour of the union so from now on Bloggoth is a raving Scottish Nationalist blog.

If any of the evil lying ones say the sky is blue, we at Bloggoth will walk for the rest of our lives under a pale green sky with red spots.

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Reviving endangered species

More genetic research news this week, this time about chickens being used to produce useful proteins in their eggs after having been injected with human DNA. Wrong wrong wrong! What we need, as we have said before, is horrible humans being injected with animal DNA to make them more like nice little animals.

It has occured to us that here is a golden opportunity to address two major problems, the likely extinction of many magnificant engangered species and the rapid descent back into primeval soup of our own species in the UK due to the reversal of evolution by welfare.

Why not stop giving flats and benefits to those useless common chavy unmarried mums for producing skiploads of prison fodder and instead give them back their pride and a decent living in return for having their embryos injected with animal DNA so that they would give birth to white Rhinos, Siberian Tigers and so on? I reckon some areas of London could soon be supplying enough Mountain Gorillas to repopulate the Congo faster than the bastard poachers could eat them.

Some awful common person, called Tracy or Sharon probably, gives birth to a really groovy little hippo called Horace.

Image from MM-Orgy.com (Without the nice little hippo)

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Miscellaneous ramblings

In this incredibly dull test work we are doing at the moment we need to search for keywords in code a lot using the Windows file search.

We would use it more but it seems so unfair to keep waking that little dog up so mostly we just click on things at random and stare at the walls. Just like being at home really. This is not at all an impediment to our progress in testing the boring aircraft thing as we never really started anyway. Aircraft bits are so stupifyingly dull that we have been mostly testing our sandwiches instead.

Have you ever noticed that if you search any bunch of files (not just files created by Xoggoth which contain almost nothing else), for the word "arse" you always get a few matches? Why is that?

Why are blogs upside down? It really annoys us that if we wish to refer to something in a previous thread it is further down instead of further up or further back as it would be in a book. What idiot started that off? I suspect he was the sort who would like Firefox.

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A passing trend?

Has the blog craze passed? Or is it just because it is new year and everyone is depressed about being back at work?

We at Bloggoth are used to having hardly any comments, we never expected our brilliance to be understood by the world at large, but lately we have noticed that some others are not getting many either, including the better known of the blogs linked to at left. We have just had a decko at the excellent Devil's Kitchen blog, yes, THE famous Devil's Kitchen who used to get dozens as we seem to recall, looked down the page and there is one with four comments, a few ones, twos and threes (of which we are are still utterly and obscenely envious) and a considerable number of noughts. And yes! we did count the separate blogger and non-blogger counts!

To test our theory we checked one of THE most famous British blogs, Guido Fawke's Blog. Hey! that's not fair, the bloke is still getting 50, 60, sometimes a 100+ comments on every post! I was never much of a fan, Westminster gossip is not really our scene. Still, if you can't beat it. Did we tell you the story about Fatty Soames and the Polish cleaner? No? Well it seems..

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PROSECUTE, PROSECUTE, PROSECUTE!

I do not think I will be alone here.

Last year we saw two prosecutions of the BNP leader after "provocative" words about Islam were reported by channel 4 reporters, those terribly provocative words being "Evil and pernicious".

Tonight Channel 4 evened the score and reported sermons by senior Muslims in front of significance audiences including children. The "provocative" words in this case: defending sex with underage girls, advocating beating of inferior women, calling for children not to mix with others at school, calling for establishment of a strict Islamic state in the UK, calling for Jihad against the "Khafar" and killing them if necessary, comparing Jews to pigs, advocating murder of Jews, Homosexuals and atheists and praising Taliban killings of British soldiers.

I trust that every libertarian right blog out there will be calling for PROSECUTION of these people.

But the reported words are not the real problem, that could be a few extremists. Except that these "few" extremists are to be seen as regular speakers at the same mosques, with the audiences sitting there listening intently, clearly attuned to the speeches and laughing at the jokes. Can you seriously imagine going to a Christian church to hear the priest/clergyman advocating killing jews and Muslims and not being removed by the Church PDQ? Can you imagine that many of the audience would not get up and leave?

But the worst problem was the total disparity between the way these mosques represented themselves, as tolerant promoters of inter-faith understanding and the reality that was being promoted among the believers. Even apparently inclusive websites had hidden extreme pages. We at Bloggoth have stated in the past that we simply did not believe, as some have said on the net, that many Muslims are dissemblers, presenting a moderate face to the outside world in order to deceive us. Maybe we at Bloggoth were damn fools. It would not be the first time.

At least we have never been deceived to the extent that too many still are. While we at Bloggoth have never been in favour of demonising Muslims and thought most were decent enough sorts (but just maybe we were DAMN FOOLS!) we have always said that Islam from its most fundamental basis, that society should be ordered according to the words of 7th century figure, is utterly incompatible with democracy. Maybe some will now wake up.

Let us leave these arguments aside for the moment. What we ALL of us, those of us foolish enough to believe in the impartiality of the law that is, now expect is the PROSECUTION that was so swiftly applied to Griffin. We want these extremists rooted out according to the law. We do not want them left to influence the moderates among the Muslim community.

If there really are any. Maybe we have just been DAMN FOOLS!

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Feed us

We at bloggoth are not terribly into expensive consumer goods. This is because we have a very spiritual nature and is not due to meanness at all.

Computers, phones and other gadgets tend to be acquired once the model has been discontinued and they are selling them off cheap, I mean, once they have acquired a spiritual value over time. Who needs a Satnav when you have a Traffic Master acquired for £2.40 in the East Grinstead branch of Age Concern? On the very rare occasion we buy a new (for us that is) van, we pay £2.5k tops on it and then run it for years until it falls apart and has to go to the scrapyard. We have very much the same philosophy with regard to other non-essential items like clothes and shoes. (And soap)

Imagine our annoyance to find out that the bastard stinking government is now admitting that it is only when you include these very things, the 'big-ticket' items, that the rate of inflation is anything like the official figure. If you spend most of your money on essentials like food, rates or utility bills it is way higher. There is only thing for it, we will have to apply our spiritual approach to stuff like food too. Just as well the downstairs neighbours at our crappy flat in Somewhere In England Town put their bin bags out early.

I am sure my non-existent readers would like to help out too, so if anyone has some scraps to spare please post them through the hole at left. Thank you very much.

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Didn't we say?

Where xoggoth leads the rest of the world follows - eventually. News on the TV Tonight that the government is proposing a unified database on which ALL your details will be kept. Instead of your criminal record, health problems, tax details etc. all being on separate databases, they will be able to snoop on the whole lot at once. It is no surprise to us, xoggoth Tales warned you this would happen over three years ago.

Do not be surprised if the rest of it comes true as well.

Will they ever shut up?

The sublime zombie entity that is xoggoth takes many forms in cyber space. Sometimes we like to manifest ourselves as a manky old blackbird skull.

Some things make us very stroppy, one particularly annoying thing is finding a little jumpy insect gnawing away up our rotted old beak.

But what enstrops us most of all is most politicians. We say most because one or two are ok. We used to like David Steele and currently we quite like Alex Salmond who kicked off the cash for honours scandal. For that stirling service to the nation he is allowed to be a bit lefty.

A few others were ok, here is one, the late Sir Alec Douglas-Home. It is safe to post an unfettered picture of Sir Alec as he is dead and therefore any politician evil clinging to his image is long gone. The chief reasons Sir Alec was ok are that a) he did absolutely bugger all b) he rarely appeared on our TV screens and c) he famously had a very skull-like face and probably has little jumpy insects up his nose too now, so we feel a certain affinity for him.

If only one could say ALL these things about the current PM. Is there ever a day when the bastard is not on our TV screen proposing some unworkable initiative he has not even bothered to run past the experts or assuring us we face a major terrorist threat enormously exacerbated by his own stupid actions or some other high sounding woolly policy which consumes yet more of our money to no purpose? Assuming it materialises at all that is! Now we have TWO of the bastards! The rancid incentive-destroying, overtaxing, overcomplicating lying Brownstuff is on our screens all the time too!

Enough is enough! We have a few little beak-infesting insects to spare. Do your job little creatures!

The webpage containment of political evil pentagram is copyright of Bloggoth

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Nutty policies of the BNP

Bloggoth really does not have much time for the BNP.

Lest some might chance on this and think that Bloggoth is opposed to racism, let us quickly disabuse you. We really don't give a damn about it either way. You will find no morality at bloggoth, we are engineers. You have to take the reality of human nature, warts and all, and work with it, not proceed with policies based upon some abstract notions of what it should be like. All that matters is the measurable outcome.

The BNP would have been a great idea back in 1950, we would have far fewer tensions and problems in our society and on any proper interpretation of the economic figures we would be at least as well off. Unfortunately, it is not 1950 and the BNP's policies would do nothing to improve tensions in Britain today and everything to make them worse.

We have seen it reported very recently by a BNP supporter that the new BNP is not at all racist, all they want is what we all want, proper control of immigration. Clearly somebody who does not bother to read their own party's manifesto, which we have checked this very morning on their site. This includes repeal of the Race Relations Acts and all other restrictions on free speech in Britain, repeal of all laws against racial discrimination in employment, proscription against the promotion of racial integration in schools and the media and a permanent programme to reduce, by voluntary resettlement, the proportion of ethnic minorities living in Britain. There is also something called the sons and daughters act in consideration of public housing but I cannot discover exactly what it means as the page is barred because it violates the web hoster's terms and conditions. If it means those who have paid taxes have preference over new arrivals to the UK who have paid nothing I have no problem with it but I suspect it goes beyond that.

Certainly some of us agree that regulations go too far. It should be legal to choose who you have to rent a room in your own house or who you employ in a tiny business of two or three people because there is a point at which the public policy intrudes too far on individual freedom to no good purpose. We also think the laws on verbal abuse should stop short at prohibiting abuse of individuals and words likely to incite violence and as for the consideration of racial motives in assault, categorising hitting a chap because he is black as worse than doing so because he has ginger hair is quite barking!

But is it seriously in the public interest that a black guy could turn up at interview at a major company and be told, quite legally, to "F* off, we don't want any n* working here"? Making it harder for people to get lawful employment is a really great way of reducing crime! And that voluntary repatriation idea. Repatriate? The slight problem there is that these people are British so why on earth would any other country have any general obligation or desire to accept them? Sure, there would be some other countries would be happy to take, all the most law abiding, successful, qualified, skilled and wealthy ones who would most benefit their own country. They would not touch the criminal underclasses with a bargepole.

These are truly sound policies! Get rid of all the best migrants, the very ones that a proper immigration policy should have let in and keep 100% of the very worst. Do one's level best to make the rest unemployed and resentful as they walk down the street to totally legal racist abuse. It is just as well the BNP have a firm policy on crime because they are going to need it.

That is not to say we do not have sympathy with many BNP supporters. Much of what we choose to call racism in our modern age of idiocy is no more than sound logic, we react to what threatens our own values and way of life. Why should we be happy to accept foreign criminals from defective and violent societies like Somalia? Why exactly should we be expected to tolerate backward viewpoints like West Indian Evangelism or Islam which threaten our progress towards equal opportunities for women, tolerance of homosexuals and a secular society? Why, when our own old people who have paid taxes all their lives are being denied basic care, are we supposed to be happy to foot the bill for AIDS infected male Africans who were too stupid to keep their willies in their pants? Why should people be happy to live in increasingly alien environments when it is ok for the migrants themselves to try and recreate their own homelands? Why should they not worry when sending their children to school with enormous numbers of non English speakers? People vote BNP because for far too long the major parties have dismissed and ignored these totally legitimate concerns.

But does this any longer apply now that we have UKIP? Just maybe we have the promise of proper control of immigration and of reestablishing a British identity without the idiotic and unworkable policies of the BNP. UKIP's electoral chances are at least as good and they can rattle the major parties in marginals at least as well. If they did get a few MPs they would have more influence in a parliament with a narrow majority than BNP MPs who nobody else would have anything to do with. I would suggest that BNP supporters try actually reading the manifesto of their party and then (looking beyond the absolutely disgusting appearance of the truly awful website) that of UKIP's.

Today we at bloggoth have sent our £10 off to join UKIP.

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Feeding the victim mentality

One of the more amusingly stupid aspects of the "immigration brings us huge economic benefits" lobby is that sometimes the same or similar people put on their "poor discriminated against minorities/immigrants" hats and solemnly inform us that these groups have the highest unemployment and poorest health as though those viewpoints were somehow compatible.

Still, as far as those who are British citizens are concerned, it is in all our interests that these lagging groups should catch up and what is needed is encouragement and promotion of successful role models. The picture is far from doom and gloom in all quarters and some minorities are starting to outperform whites, not just in school but in bettering themselves in the workplace. No great surprise there in my view given what decades of welfare have done to destroy the motivations and ambitions of the white British population.

What we do not need are people promoting the victim mentality. I would not claim that minorities are never discriminated against but if the major problem is racism, the figures paint a very curious picture of the British racist. This modern Mr BNP's hatred of Islam for example, does not seem to extend to Indian or Kenyan/Ugandan Asian Muslims and for some strange reason he is dead set against the generally law abiding Bangladeshis far more than the Pakistanis who get all the bad publicity. Funny too how those Africans are starting to break the social barriers faster than whites, I can only assume they are painting their faces white before they attend interviews.

An example of what we do not need is articles like this. This chap does not actually say that the poorer health and low household income of Muslims is down to exclusion and it may be that is not what he meant, but I have little doubt it will be seized upon by some as meaning just that. The principle objection to the article are that these problems are cultural and have almost nothing to do with being Muslim at all, so why report it in that manner? If you check out the links below, almost all impartial government, university or medical studies, you will find that although discrimination was reported, this discrimination was merely a feeling of the interviewees and almost no actual instances could be cited. The studies put forward these main reasons for poor health and low employment rates in the Pakistani and especially the Bangladeshi communities:

Poor health:

Poor diet. "Bad health in the Bangadeshi population is strongly linked to poor diet and the use of ghee"
Smoking. Bangladeshi men are the most likely group to smoke
Exercise. Pakistanis and Bangladeshis took part in less physical activity than the general population
Higher rates of communicable diseases such as TB. For fairly obvious reasons.
Genetic disorder. "British Pakistanis are 13 times more likely to have children with genetic disorders than the general population due to the common practice of marrying first cousins"

Unemployment:

Poor health as above "A large number of Pakistani and Bangladeshi men stop working altogether due to suffer (sic) multiple health problems"
Confidence, qualifications and English "The same groups (1997) were also less qualified and less able to speak English on entry to the UK than was the case with other migrants." Interviewers also reported low confidence.
Non working women and larger families. Fewer women in these groups work because they have larger families and are reluctant to consider childcare. In some cases there is still cultural resistance to the idea of women working.
Bad luck in the career choice. Many came to the UK to work in the textile industries and were hit by the totally inevitable collapse of those industries. This applied equally to white British in many areas due to decline of mining and manufacturing in general.

I suppose one could argue that a couple of those are indirectly related to Islamic beliefs but in general religion has nothing to do with it, I don't think the prophet ever advised frying vegetables in ghee for two hours until all the vitamins have been destroyed. We do not believe in expensive and patronising government initiatives on Bloggoth. The solution to the problems of less successful minority groups is largely in their own hands.

In particular, what they should expect from their own who have succeeded is encouragement and proof that it can be done, not articles that feed expectation of failure.

Articles:

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What a sensitive soul!

President Bush weeps during a medal ceremony for one of the many US soldiers killed during the ridiculous and completely counterproductive war in Iraq.

PLEASE EXCUSE US WHILE WE GO AND THROW UP!

Beckham

So David Beckham is to get $1m a week. Good luck to him. Discussions as to whether he is "worth it" according to some airy fairy notion of worth which none of us could agree on are quite pointless.

In a free market anyone who can persuade others of their own free will to pay their price is worth it by definition and the same goes for Tracy Emin, Neil Hamilton or Ozzie Osbourne and their ghastly families, fat Piggy-looking ex Big Brother contestants or anyone else people like to moan about.

The ones we should complain about are the useless fat politicians, overpaid senior civil servants, early retiring NHS managers, LG officals with stupid non-jobs like "Equal Opportunities Outreach Manager" and all the other bastards in an overcomplicated and inefficient state sector who grab our money without ever giving us any choice as to whether we feel like paying for them or not.

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In praise of cannibalism

Talking of useless fat politicians.

I didn't think that cannibalism was ever a widespread practice in Africa but a quick glance on the net indicates that is was commonplace in the Congo and seems to be still going on according to no less a source than The United Nations Security Council. I daresay it is one of those "backward" practices that the colonial powers tried to stamp out but in an overcrowded world where too many have not enough to eat what a backward step that was.

Forget sending goats to Africa, let's start a campaign to restore cannibalism and send dead British politicians. Just think how many starving African kids you could feed for a week on John Prescot. Not sure he would be very heathy eating though and maybe some other ingested characteristics could be potentially harmful too. Still, if my plan is adopted, it solves the question of which method to use for food labelling. If JP had to be labelled to indicate uselessness by the traffic light method the circle colour would be well outside the visible range.

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World News

Did Stonehenge come as a kit?

A set of stone blocks found near Stonehenge has stirred up great interest among archaeologists.

The seven stone tablets bearing neolithic drawings were discovered in a field last year but what has really excited the experts are recent comparisons showing that parts are almost identical to fragments found near six other henges in Europe.

Professor Hattra, head of archaeology at Bradford Polytechnic, said that the comparisons confirmed that Stonehenge and the other henges were almost certainly made in one place and sent out to the current sites as self assembly kits, the tablets being the assembly instructions. The professor dismissed objections that the henges were not of identical layout. "Even assuming that the modern re-erections are accurate" he said "there is a good reason for that, just as today, the kit instructions were crap and incomprehensible and the customers simply could not make head not tail of them."

One expert has an even more unorthodox theory. Professor Atkins, who retired from Cambridge university last year due to ill health, suggests that the henges bear no resemblance to the way the erections would have looked in the neolithic version of the showroom and that the true appearance is indicated by cave paintings near Andelusia. He believes they were originally offered as upmarket shrines with a full installation service but had to be sold off cheaply as kits when the extraterrestrial contractors who were to do the installing pulled out of the deal and went back to Alpha Centauri.

Previously, Professor Atkins was best known for his theory that the pyramids were originally build pointy bit down to deter tomb robbers but fell over when the extraterrestrials took their anti-gravity devices away.

An artist's impression commissioned by Professor Atkins showing how Stonehenge would have looked had it been erected in accordance with the original plans.

Islamists in the South Pole

Naturalists have reacted with dismay to a reference in the latest speech by the barking US President Bush. alleging that the famous Emperor Penguin flocks in the Antarctic have become the latest society to be infiltrated by Al-Quaida cells. Veteran naturalist David Attenborough called the suggestion utter rubbish, saying that most Emperor Penguins were devout Buddhists and would have no truck with Islamists in their midst.

It is feared that the flocks may be targetted by aircraft attacks that, even if the theory is true, will kill far more innocent birds than terrorist birds. This is especially the case given the well known natural behaviour of these penguins to unselfishly take it in turns to shield the rest from the cold, and the well known natural behaviour of Islamists to create a shield of the innocent for themselves whenever possible, meaning that the ordinary birds will be the most vulnerable at the edge of the flock.

Not all believe the idea is groundless. One of Bloggoth's many contacts in MI5 suggested that Islamists may have identified the penguin flocks as a new operational area after watching "March of the Penguins". He also said that there was circumstantial evidence that the young Jackass penguin supposedly abducted from an Isle Of Wight zoo by misguided nature lovers soon after the film was first shown may in fact have been taken to a Madrassa in Pakistan to be indoctrinated and trained as an undercover operative in the Antartic.

A group of Emperor Penguins in Antarctica today

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A rare compliment

In the DT or Times last week an article on pit-bull terriers, dangerous dogs, dangerous owners. Some might say it fitted that another bunch of them have been siezed today in Liverpool. Poor old Liverpudlians, nobody has a good word for them and their most famous citizens never stay there; Carla Lane and Paul Mccartney both live here in Sussex. I am not even going to mention cars with no wheels propped up on bricks.

I am not a great football fan but saw a bit of the Liverpool match the other night and am going to say something nice about Liverpool, football fans too. Those guys actually sing rather well, it was in harmony and in tune. Someone should sign them up and for something a bit better than a crappy football anthem.

Hanging

Yesterday Gordon Lying C*nt Brownstuff decided to boost his credentials by stating that the manner of SH's hanging was deplorable. It is widely believed that {He Whom It Would Be Morally Justifiable To Stab Although I Am Not Personally Calling For His Stabbing} will jump on the bandwagon shortly.

For once I agree with the scumbags. I would certainly not post a video of SH's hanging on bloggoth. Even if I posted a picture it would not be anything explicit and in fact I would probably doctor it to make it more acceptable.

There you are! See how much more civilised and acceptable that is. Nobody could object to that!

The Borg society draws nearer

You can always find a good excuse to justify restrictions on freedom and privacy and in principle the justification may be sound. There are usually just one basic problem with the reality in the UK, there is no point checking on everything we do unless some effective action is taken against the criminal or unlawful actions so detected.

Thus, CCTVs follow us everywhere but when criminals are detected, even when they turn out to be recidivists, they are let off time and time again with insignificant penalties. On Thursday, 3 May, 2001 the then home secretary promised a crackdown against repeat offenders. On Thursday, 5 July, 2001 the new home secretary pledged much the same thing. What has been done in this regard after all the hoohah in 2001? Absolutely bloody nothing! I cannot find it online, but just a couple of weeks ago a burglar jailed for four years was transferred to an open prison just prior to release after two years. He absconded and and committed another 19 burglaries in the locality. His sentence? Four years again!

There is also much nonsense about how identity cards will prevent illegal immigration. The problem with that theory, as we all know, is that when illegal immigrants are detected nothing whatever is done so what is the point of detecting them?

Do not believe the nonsense about reductions in our freedoms being necessary for our own good. Reduction in our freedoms which do not bring about the supposed benefits, when no actual effort is even made to try and ensure that they do bring about the supposed benefits, is reduction in our freedoms for its own sake.

We do not condone litter on bloggoth, the messy bastards who ruin the country roads round here should be shot and then hung (in either order), but I could not help thinking that this surveillance pretty well sums up where our society is going.


	A litter warden in Gloucester on the look out for dropped napkins		A man who has been co-opted into the Borg collective

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Green taxes

As we have said before, although we cannot be arsed to find it, we consider global warming is as near fact as any scientific prediction can be.

We have also said, and we have been arsed to find it this time, that we do not consider any green taxes introduced by this administration will be anything but a waste of time as they will not be applied to reduce emissions but merely pissed up against the wall like all our other taxes and will probably increase emissions because efficient British industries and services will be driven abroad to countries where they don't give a fuck and would willingly shoot the world's last tiger if they thought its liver would cure a hangnail. Nice to see that someone with a bit more clout, Ryanair's Mr O'Leary, is saying much the same thing.

"Mr Pearson is a minister of a government which has, like Scrooge, this Christmas doubled the air passenger tax on tickets from £5 to £10, grabbing another £1bn in taxes without doing anything whatsoever to invest this money in the environment," he said.

Funny how the minister has gone quiet. Come on then, what have you done with all the extra money collected from us supposedly to help the environment? The only way this or any other government will ever convince us that any of the supposedly noble reasons they give for more taxation are sincere will be to ring fence the money so we can see it is being spent on the intended purpose.

They never will because it never is.

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Human animal hybrids - we want lots of 'em

We at bloggoth are heartily against any government ban on “human-animal” cloned embryos for research that could improve the lives of those with motor neurone disease and Alzheimer’s.

There have been predictable protests at the research from "faith groups"* on the grounds that this is tampering with human nature. why? An embryo that is no more than a few cells has no brain, no nerves, it cannot think, it cannot feel, it is no more human than a bit of skin tissue being tested for infection in a petri dish! Oh yes! It has a soul of course! If I were the minister in charge of such decisions I would turn to these faith groups and say "Prove it or fek off!".

It is not always the case that the religious and irreligious will disagree on medical issues. They may well even agree on the most contentious issues such as abortion, euthenasia or full term cloning of humans, the religious because they believe that human beings have a soul, the humanists because they believe that human beings have an intrinsic value.

Naturally, we at bloggoth do not agree with the humanist view either. Nice little animals (except kittens) have intrinsic value because they have little sniffly noses or shiny beaks or lots of little legs which they use to run around in circles with, but intrinsic value in humans??? How flipping irrational can you get? Neither do we agree with any limits, rather the aim of this research should be to try and improve humankind by creating real Chimaeras. Just think what problems we could solve, the obesity problem for example could be addressed by creating human-slug hybrids. What better way of removing excess cholesterol than by excreting it out of the skin to create gallons of slime that we could move around on?

Daisy, the cloned hyrid using DNA from a garden slug and Dawn French, celebrates breaking the world bellysliding record on the Croydon Indoor Ski Slope yesterday. The maintenance staff were not so happy. "There must be almost a ton of slime to clean up" said one.

*Note: Why do they call themselves faith groups instead of religious groups now? Is it so we don't think of all the negatives of religion? Once people twig that these faith groups are still the same old lot trying to impose their irrational beliefs on the rest of society what will they call themselves then? Belief groups, heavenly aspirational societies?

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