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The coven:
13 blogs we may look at when not lost in admiration of our own:

Bad Science
Vacant slot
disinformation
EU Referendum
Gimcrack hospital
HMRC is shite
News Bleat
Old Holburn
Vacant slot
Snail's Tales
the freethinker
Vacant slot
Vacant slot
Islam totally sucks links:
Gates Of Vienna
Islamist Watch
Jihad Watch
Creeping Shariah
Last commenty thing that we could be bothered to create. (Lazy old git)
Links to items
Will the minister explain his figures?
Foreign aid

Unbelievable
Somalia kidnap

Come Scandal Dancing

Not all her fault
Merlin

Confusion
Memory problems

Out of nothing at all
YouTube

Something else we are not supposed to mention
Foreign doctors

Explode
Other people's kids

Let's all read The Daily Star - problems sorted
Ignorance is bliss

Contradictions
Ghost of alive cockels

The bad luck continues
Mosques

Associations with the sex industry
We'd love it

More giants
Wierd thumbprints

Endangered
Sparrows

Archie 10
New story

Multi porn and nature

Insurance - an even bigger con than we think?

Street Fashion
The real man's man bag

Shoreditch - hub of the world

Bizarre concerns

We think the same, why this silly pretence?
Home events concern us more

Daft
Overdoing inclusiveness

Why?
Body bits react to cold

Some generalisations make sense

Something doesn't add up here
Jobs British don't want to do

Design of man is a bit crappy
Memory



Page 42 (Latest)

The ramblings of an old git

bloggoth Mission Statement:

          We aim to never raise our sights above the gutter and preferably to stay much lower

The world is copying bloggoth again

People in the UK have lost their houses or found huge loans taken out against them as described in this article due to lax practices by our Land Registry. They have been changing registered address of a property on request and the only check made was to send a letter to the currently registered address; if this was not responded to within a set period the re-registration went ahead. This letter could easily be intercepted if the registered address was empty, rented or squatted. We mentioned this a few days ago in a comment and, lo and behold, the Land Registry made some changes just yesterday!

Just a couple of days ago we got fed up with comment spammers on bloggoth, most of whom seem to be from European countries like Belgum, Germany, Norway etc, and implemented a HIGHLY RACIST (hurrah!) comment check that blocks any non English-speaking and/or backward countries. Sorry, numerous would-be foreign commenters, if you ain't from the UK, Ireland, US, Canada, NZ or Oz the new bloggoth commenty thing ain't listening to you. There are still spammers in those countries but it should cut them down a lot. Naturally enough we have been immediately copied by Google.

Where bloggoth goes the world follows.

New xoggoth Tale

A materialist finds that rearranging the furniture has a positive effect on his life after all.

Feng shui

The usual double standards on religion

The usually fairly sensible (for a bishop) Sentamu has spoken out against gay marriage.

It is unclear what he had in mind. Does he oppose civil marriage ceremonies in registry offices or is he concerned (only the DM mentions the possible legal consequences) that, if the bill is passed, discrimination laws will be used to force churches to carry out such marriages? If the first, I would suggest that he and his church keeps their f* noses out of society's business. If the second, then some might sympathise with his view, arguing that it is not the law's place to impose its laws on religious institutions.

That might be fair enough if such respect for beliefs was a universal thing but it isn't. Religious institutions get exemption from laws that are rigorously applied to the rest of us, they refuse equality to women and discriminate against gays and those of other beliefs with impunity. If an atheist-run business refused to employ some devout Muslim or creationist Christian on the grounds that the owner disliked religious belief he would soon be sued for his views and, in the past, they have been sued even where the religious belief really was an impediment to doing the job. Companies have bent rules to allow Muslim staff to refuse to sell bibles or alcohol and Muslim taxi drivers refusing to carry dogs are rarely prosecuted but if an atheist refused to sell a Bible or a Koran because he saw the sale of such irrational crap as damaging to our society how long would he stay in his job?

It is time we made up our minds what equality means. Either the law should protect all views and lifestyles or it should protect none. Either we should stop making exemptions for religions and minority cultures or allow us all the freedom, when it comes to our own businesses, clubs, societies, political parties etc, what rules we will have and who we will take in or exclude.

One thing is certain

Another usually fairly sensible (for a bishop) bishop is Carey who objected to the recent opposition to the welfare cap in the Lords.

There is a lot of nonsensical "sense" on this isse. People will point out that there are no jobs around at the moment anyway. True but then, AFAIK, nobody is planning to take welfare from genuine claimants who are really trying to get work. Lack of jobs in the current economic climate is not an argument to postpone necessary measures that, in the long term, will move us away from a welfare dependent society and restrict benefit to those who both need and deserve it. Some will point out that some genuine claimants will suffer. True again, but sometimes there is no absolutely infallible way of discriminating between the genuine, the exaggerated and the fake claim. We cannot protect those few unfortunates by making the tests of necessity so easy that society continues to pick up a huge bill with continuing damage to British incentive.

One question we really must be asking. WTF are these F* bishops doing in our upper house?

Takes me back

This item in the DT's week in pictures takes us back. What? Cry the non existent readers? Dinosaurs? You can't be quite that old, surely? Well, yes actually, when we were a little kid our favourite day out was going to see the lifesize dinosaurs in nearby Crystal Palace Park.

No T Rex unfortunately but the Iguanadon was great. The statues were first made in the Victorian age and it was our first introduction to the concept of scientific error. It had spikes on its nose instead of its thumbs and walked on 4 legs instead of two. We didn't really care. Even if it was a poofy herbivore it looked big and bitey, much better than the little plastic models we got free in boxes of PG Tips tea or the lumpy ones we made out of Plasticine *.

* Pity dinosuars weren't still around in the Pleistocene period or there would be a feeble joke there!

Films again

Talking of watching films again, we also couldn't miss watching the final of Open Range. Great to watch the villains get slaughtered. Go on, blow their brains out, stick the knife in their eyeball, push them off a cliff! Who doesn't cheer on the slaughter? Nobody would watch films like that if they didn't enjoy watching the baddies getting eliminated.

We can't help thinking that life made a lot more sense back then. None of this crappy concern about our enemies, whether individuals who threaten us personally or those who threaten our society or our nation. At some time in history, in the West anyway, we become indoctrinated with this strange view that there is something intrinsically valuable about all human life. What was a natural desire to help others out of charity and human empathy became a drive to preserve as many human accidents as possible whatever the cost to our own life experience. What should have been a willingness to help people improve themselves became an ongoing subsidy to those who prove themselves worthless over and over again. What should have become tolerance of other societies became a cowardly reluctance to defend our own from those who threaten it.

Where's my gun and my time machine? We may be some time.

Strange sports

We watched the Shawshank Redemption again the other day, one of the few films worth watching more than once. Towards the end of the film Dufresne escapes through the prison sewer pipe. Last summer a neighbour a few doors down built this decorative well in his garden. It doesn't look terribly decorative from here, wonder why he built it?

What is the connection? ask the non existent readers. It's just that, as far as I can make out from our plans, that well must be directly over the main sewer pipe. Hmmmmmm. Some people have funny preferences. Others, like we at bloggoth, also have disgusting imaginations.

The big difference

Somebody on CUK made the comment that using reason and religion in the same sentence was a schoolboy error, which earned the retort from a religious member "Fail. Go read Anselm." There's discussion of some of Anselm's gibberish here but to cut it short, the basic argument is this:

If we understand what almighty means and can admit the possibility that the almighty may exist in reality, then that is a contradiction because reality is greater than understanding and you can't have more almighty than almighty so, QED, the almighty exists.

What utter bollux. Reality is not involved here, understanding what god means and allowing of the possibility of god are both only ideas, you can't argue a truth from imaginings. They may both be wrong, you can't argue truth from two falsehoods. Even if reality was involved in the argument there would have to be a numerical relation between reality and understanding for the " greater than" argument to have any meaning, otherwise it's like comparing the size of a sheep to the intensity of a light bulb. If there was any merit in Anselm's argument, you could equally use it to argue the existence of some infinitely powerful impersonal physical laws rather than god.

That is not to say that Anselm was a fool but he was quite wrong to call such arguments proof. If a scientist makes a similar "logical" claim about the origins of the universe it is not called proof, it is called a hypothesis or a theory, which then has to be subject to collection of evidence, the observed expansion of the universe, the existence or otherwise of dark matter etc etc.

Only religion takes perceptions, similes or comparisons between totally different things and calls it proof.

Tax evasion idea

The Grinch, one of our bloggoth heros, is on trial for tax evasion.

If tax was spent as it should be, to defend our nation, to provide the regulations and laws we actually need for a stable and safe society, to help our own citizens who make a reasonable effort within the limits of their abilities, to support practical measures that help poorer nations to build their own economies and shift for themselves, then we would be all in favour of it.

But while so much of our tax is being wasted on overpaid public sector jobsworths, EU egomaniacs, pointless and/or unecessarily complicated regulations, policies based on unworkable idealistic dogma, welfare parasites, criminals' rights, useless and hostile immigrants, fake charities like the C of E, greedy companies, corrupt overseas governments and pointless expansion of ever dependent third world populations, who can blame anyone for trying to keep as much as they can? Three cheers for The Grinch, Wesley Snipes and all our other bloggoth heros.

We especially loved the way he had money paid to an account in the name of his dog and this is a strategy we shall be copying. Sales of xoggoth Tales on Kindle total a whole £2.31 less Amazon fees so far. There is no way you are getting any of this fortune bastard HMRC! We shall be popping into NatWest this afternoon and opening an account in the name of Mr Manky Blackbird skull.

Hey! I'm rich!!



Prophetic

Not been into it for a few decades but in teens/20s I used to read a lot of science fiction. There was one story of a future, and this was well before the internet, where communications technology had grown so intrusive that a man was spending his whole day doing nothing but communicating with his devices.

He didn't get the technology right, the Dick Tracy style wrist radio figured a lot, but in another way it was very prophetic. We jump through endless hoops to satisfy the bloody government and large companies. Self assessment, PAYE, corporation tax forms and accounts take up far more of our time than they did when you could just biro in the figures on paper forms and the burden grows noticeably every year. Companies take up a lot of our time too, downloading bank statements and adding +/- columns so they are as readable as the old paper ones, sending meter readings to energy companies, changing direct debits because the gym or insurance company has changed ownership yet again, fannying about testing the business website because of some other f* email notification of a technical change by the hosting company or the payment gateway company. Even online shopping can take longer than the old fashioned way. Sometimes you sit at the PC after breakfast, think you will just read your emails, pay a few bills and order some trivial thing you need, like a chain for the front door, and by the time you have finished, it's lunchtime.

The only thing that modern technology appears to have made easier is taxing a car.

Move over Shakespeare

xoggoth Tales now available on the Kindle.

Lessons from Indonesia

It is clear from comments on news stories, and it isn't just the right wing papers anymore, that people in the UK are getting fed up to the back teeth with the way that the rights of criminal, dangerous and useless people are being put above those of law-abiding tax-paying citizens. Fanatical Islamists allowed to stay in case they might be tortured in their own countries, Eastern Europeans squatting in peoples' houses and the police won't remove them even when there is evidence that they broke in, immigrants claiming huge sums in benefits, prisoners awarded compensation because they are not handled with kid gloves, citizens being prosecuted for defending their own property, criminals given soft sentences for all sort of reasons.

Sometimes crime proves fatal as in this case. Good. At least that's one worthless piece of shit off our backs. While we should perhaps have some sympathy with the inadequate or mentally person who commits an impulse crime, there is no reasonable excuse for crimes that require considerable initiative and planning to carry out. If premediation and significant preparation is needed to commit a crime then the criminal must usually be of sound mind and can, at any time, desist from carrying it through. In those circumstances, since the perpetrator has a free choice, we see no reason for the punishment to be proportionate.

The Indonesian authorities appear to agree. To prevent people riding free on the tops of trains they are hanging large concrete balls from bridges

Asked about worries that the balls could hurt or even kill those who defy the roof-riding ban, he insisted that wasn't really his problem.

"They don't have to sit on top," he said. "And we've already told them, if the train is full, go to the office. We will be happy to reimburse their tickets."

Sound thinking. Difficult to rig up fatal traps for most crimes without risking accidental injury to those who are not criminals but maybe we should give it serious thought where possible.

Topic: Lessons from Indonesia       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Spreading

More xoggoth cartoons discovered on the internet and these are only the ones we can find because they provide links.

here
here (Cleanest version of two occurences)
here

Are we all dead yet?

The world was supposed to end last May 31st, then again on October 21st and it didn't then either, not unless the afterlife is boringly like the first one, complete with tax returns and rising petrol prices anyway. The second coming has come and gone many times throughout history yet people not only continue to believe it, they even continue to believe the same nutjobs and phonies who were wrong last time. That May 31st/Oct 21st pastor had previous form, the world ended in 1994 too.

Second comings, mediums who speak to the dead; however many phonies and loonies are exposed there are always those who carry on believing. Nothing illustrates this better than this case we chanced upon today while "researching" Feng Shui for a short story. This chap pretended to be a medium who could channel the 2000 year old spirit of Carlos. He first toured Australia and enthralled gullible audiences with palpably fake stories yet, even after the hoax was revealed on TV, many continued to believe in Carlos.

When people continue to believe in what self confessed fakes tell them, to believe in something when the evidence of falsehood is still readily available, what chance is there of weaning them off belief in the millenia-old nonsense of messiahs and prophets?

New opportunity

Some more crap dropped through our letterbox this morning, it rarely rates more than a glance before going in the bin but one about a health supplement was interesting. Apparently it is made of blue-green Algae. On the back is space for an address and:

YES, I would like (please tick one):

Blue-green Algae? Isn't that the stuff that always poisons a few kids and dogs at the height of the summer? According to this it is not always toxic but "Because we do not know what causes a blue-green to become toxic, it is impossible to predict when toxicity might occur". Hmmm. Hope the sellers of this health supplement know what they are doing. We think we will just stick to eating our compost heap, that's only occasionally toxic too (depending on where and how long ago we disposed of poisonous leaves, buried dead birds etc) and much cheaper.

Gives us an idea for a future business though if assisted suicide ever becomes legal in the UK. We can set up a company marketing toxic substances aimed at those who want to be knocked off but don't like spending money. Let's see, a bit of that compost heap, some weedkiller, some anti-freeze, into the blender. Looks splendid and should do the job.

xoggoth assisted suicide drink - buy now while it's cheap, demand will drive the cost up when it becomes legal. Only £10 ($424494428028508239055) a bottle.

Carry on!

Three good things to come out of the Stephen Lawrence trial:

1. Maybe now they will stop boring us all to death with this 18 year old case. Not holding our breath on that one.

2. At least forensics might take a bit more care with evidence in future and take scrupulous measures to avoid cross contamination. Precautions did not matter too much back in Hercule Poirot's day when evidence of murder would be a huge bloodstain but it does when the evidence is minute traces. DNA testing was commercially available in 1987, so perhaps the police should have been aware of the potential problems even back in 1993 when Lawrence was murdered. Yet again, our wonderful authorities had to discover things by trial and error. Will they now think ahead to when science can match even smaller traces? Probably not. These contamination arguments will all be heard again.

3 People will now be more aware of the menace of covert surveillance by government bodies. Here is the code of practice that allows our government to watch you and even plant cameras and microphones on your private property so they can observe and listen in on everything you do or say. We haven't read the whole thing but there appears to be such a general weaseliness in the wording that nothing is completely ruled out. There are two types of surveillance a) directed, which covers activity in public areas, property, media, forums etc and b) intrusive which relates to private ones. That document says this about the latter:

6.3 Under section 32(2), (3) and (3A) of the 2000 Act the Secretary of State or the senior authorising officer or designated deputy may only authorise intrusive surveillance if they believe: (a) that the authorisation is necessary in the circumstances of the particular case on the grounds that it is: ... In the interests of the economic well-being of the UK

HMRC like to talk about "the economic well being of the UK" and they are one of the organisations empowered to use these measures. HMRC has its own senior authorising officers, which simply means anyone above a certain grade, so don't imagine these decisions need to go to the Home Secretary. They say here that they cannot use intrusive surveillance but totally contradict that in this document page 3, item 3. And why would they refuse to reveal how many times they had used intrusive methods if they cannot use them?

If you think all this is mere bloggoth paranoia, then read what Baroness Noakes said here. Maybe everyone should buy one of these little gadgets, only £15.99 from Maplins. Never had a problem with Maplin stuff and it's CHEAP!. What else matters?

Cruelty to dictators

Been thinking about all this "Arab Spring" (ha ha) stuff, the questionable death of Mumra Gadaffy Duck in Libya, the ongoing trial of Hosni Mubarak and Sons in Egypt and the eventual probable fate of President Assad of Syria. There is, unfortunately, nothing new about this barbarism, not long ago we had the awful hanging of that nice Mr Hussein and look at what happened to poor old Mussolini and Hitler. Basically nice chaps, all of them, and it was clearly bad upbringing and marginalisation and neglect by uncaring societies that made them what they were.

This cruelty to dictators has to stop now. We demand that there should be no more prosecutions of these misguided leaders (we refuse to call them dictators or despots) for corruption, war crimes or "crimes against humanity". Instead, we demand that the UN should set up rehabilitation clinics where they can receive counselling, therapy to overcome their difficulties and instruction in proper government. After a few months perhaps they can be put in charge of minor projects, like running a small cattery or something like that. If they prove capable (having not slaughtered, starved or sexually abused too many cats) they could even be reinstated to their former positions.

We are sure that the non existent readers will agree with us that these so called dictators are not to blame, they are the victims of society and deserve our sympathy and support. We are all guilty! Please sign up to our petition here to request that the government should promote Flawed Leader Rehab Clinics to the UN council.

Bloody well get on with it

We agree with this, that the government needs to stop fecking about with windfarms and solar energy and all that impractical crap and start building nuclear plants NOW.

We should ignore all these daft EU carbon emissions targets too; while there are sound reasons to save energy as much as possible it makes no sense to not make use of the coal reserves we still have when China and other countries are opening coal-fired power plants far quicker than we can close them. Driving our manufacturing industry to less efficient plants in other countries and adding fuel consumption of the transport on top will not reduce emissions but increase them.

No Great Expectations

At the moment, with its lax immigration rules that allow in so many whose contribution is negligible or negative, the UK is marginally increasing its GDP while decreasing the things that really matter, our GDP per capita, our quality of life, our safety and our sense of belonging.

Centuries from now, in an even more vastly overcrowded world, when the demand for everything including the most basic essential items like water, food, fuel and housing materials outstrips supply, the nations whose people will be the happiest and most prosperous will be the ones with the smallest populations, the ones who can supply as much as possible of what they need from the limited resources available within their own shores. If we carry on as we are doing then, centuries from now, the UK will be one of the world's poorest nations.

There is always plenty of Dickens or Dickens inspired spoofs on TV over the Christmas period. The new Great Expectations had a huge audience. Perhaps the BBC should put on a lot more Dickens, it will start to prepare us for what is to come.

Hollywood sanity

Custer probably never said anything like it but here is a great quote from the film "Custer of the West":

I'll make it very simple for you. The fact that we seem to be pushing you clear off the earth is not my responsibility. The problem is precisely the same as when you Cheyenne decided to take another tribe's hunting ground. You didn't ask them about their rights. You didn't care if they had been there a thousand years. You just had more men and more horses. You destroyed them in battle. You took what you wanted, and right or wrong, for better or worse, that is the way things seem to get done. That's history. I'm talking about history. You are a militarily defeated people. You are paying the price for being backward. And whatever my personal feelings, and I don't say I have any, there's nothing I can do to change all this. Do you understand?

Indeed. So much of the bleating by the less successful nations and peoples of the world is pure hypocricy. Look at any period of history anywhere and there are conquests by warlike tribes, like the Lakota Sioux and the Chiricahua Apache in North America, the Masai and the Zulu in Africa, the Binjareb among the Australian aborigines. Wars, conquest of other tribes, occupation of their lands and massacres and enslavement of their people by these and others have been commonplace since before man first picked up a club. Had the Apaches or the Zulus or the Binjareb had well organised armies with modern transport, equipment and technology as the Europeans had in the last 500 years, the history of our world would be no less filled with conquest and occupation.

That is not to justify the European empires but simply to suggest that the blame-seeking failed minorities and the guilt-ridden white liberals who continually parrot the "anti racist" view that the white man is uniquely acquisitive, aggressive and contemptuous of other cultures should look at history as it really was.

Perhaps too, they should ponder the occasional wisdom in the Hollywood versions.

More little things annoying xoggoth

This week little things have been mostly doing:-

PS Although, come to think of it, these acts could also be those of some government agent sent to spy on us.

More sense from an unexpected quarter - 3

Darn it 2. First the Arsebishop of Canterbury, then Bob Crow, now we find we totally agree with Harriet Harman.

Some have suggested that Egyptian Tourism will be damaged if the Muslim Brotherhood gains power. If the Salafis have a role or major influence things will be far worse. Some have suggested that even beaches and swimming pools may be segregated. This will not be a popular idea with Westerners, not simply because they will want to be with their girlfriends/boyfriends but because women will be less safe if separated from their men given that Egyptian men are a notoriously awful bunch of molesters. We even saw it happening in full view of the world's press during the so called Arab Spring. (Ha! ha!)

As Harriet Harman suggests and as that first article says, it is not just foreign tourists or those defending women's rights who get abused but ordinary Egyptian women and not just those who dress immodestly but veiled women too. Wherever you get unnatural restrictions on male sexuality, whether it is due to religion as among Catholic priests or Muslims, or lack of opportunity, as in prisons, boarding schools or among the charmless who can't get girlfriends, you get unnatural practices or aggressive and inconsiderate attitudes to women.

It is constantly stated that Western society, with its emphasis on sex, is demeaning and degrading to women but the reality is that our honest admission that mating is an important life factor for both sexes is much nearer to the natural way of things than the attitudes in conservative countries and our belief that women should make their own choices is much nearer to being true respect for them than treating them as chattels to do a man's bidding.

Their country, their choice. But if their economy does suffer, if the lot of women and Christians does get worse, let us not spend our money on foreign aid to help the bastards out. Given the amount we give to Pakistan, a country that almost makes Egypt look a decent place, we are not holding our breath.

PS Watch out for the propoganda on Egypt. Take a look at this description of Pakistan. Is this really the same country as the one described here by our foreign office?

Repeat

Had a dream this morning. Can't for the life of us think what it was now, we only recall that when we woke up we were quite sure we had had exactly the same dream before. Oh no! This could turn into BBC TV with endless repeats. How long before our brain demands an annual licence?

More religious bollox

Pope Grandpa Munster has been spouting the usual religious crap about moral relativism.

Moral relativism, the idea that acts should be judged on their effects, rather than be categorised according to theoretical notions or some nonsensical scripture, is so sensible that the vast majority of Christians practice it themselves. How many Christians actually refuse to fight for their country in a war? How many do not justify it as being in the greater good? If Hitler or any other nasty dictator could have been assassinated AND there was a good chance that far fewer people would have died or suffered as a result then who, Christians included, would not have supported it?

That is not to say that the last five of the Ten Commandments are not a sound basis for any society but, like any sensible laws, they need a few subclauses and opt outs. Thou shalt not commit adultery? Depends. Usually very hurtful within a loving marriage but if it has already fallen apart and the spouse no longer gives a damn, what does it matter?

Our democracy really sucks

According to this:

A weighted average of this month's polls put the Conservatives on 39 per cent (up four points), Labour on 38 per cent (down one point) and the Liberal Democrats on 12 per cent (unchanged). If the figures were replicated in a general election, Labour would be the largest party in a hung Parliament.

So a Labour party with fewer votes is still going to get more seats; that is not democracy. What a shame that twat Clegg and his idiot Lib Dems botched the referendum by proposing a fudge of a system that had just as many flaws. Had we all been voting for one that really delivered seats in proportion to votes he may well have won and we would now have at least one thing to be grateful to his crappy party for.

Tickled

It seems animals love being tickled. Who can blame them?

What a shame we humans only have two main forms of physical manipulation we can pay for - proper massage, which is expensive and often bleedin' painful, and "massage" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) which is even more expensive and a bit risky.

We at bloggoth would love to have cheap tickling and scratching parlours. Pay a modest fee and get tickled and scratched for 20 mins by some nice young lady, no "extras" involved. Fantastic!

Use a dictionary?

Jeremy Clarkson's comment a while ago about a typical Mexican being "a lazy, feckless, flatulent oaf with a moustache" could accurately be described as racist stereotyping. *Note

However, that is the wrong term to apply to his latest comment that "everyone who goes to India gets the trots". Everyone is obviously not correct but most would be. According to this up to 60% of travellers from developed countries get acute diarrhea in developing countries and India is listed as one of the 5 highest risk nations. This is a not a racist joke about a people but a largely accurate one about the poverty stricken and insanitary state of much of that country. Why must a few people get so exercised about nothing?

Note: Naturally, we at bloggoth thoroughly disapprove of such stereotyping, especially when it is plainly unjustified. Mexicans are clearly not lazy! Smuggling hordes of people into somebody elses's country, violent street crime, kidnapping, running drugs and shooting people requires a good deal of effort and resourcefulness. The reality is that, if anything, Clarkson's old fashioned stereotype of a lazy, laid back Mexican is flattery. Mexico is a violent, corrupt and crime ridden shithole and it's getting worse. This is no reflection on its people obviously, most crime is carried out by Llamas.

Although, from that official US travel advice, Mexico has a long way to go before it becomes anything like such a violent, corrupt and crime ridden shithole as Pakistan.

What about

We at bloggoth and the missus bloggoth always record and watch the André Rieu concerts. Watched one tonight in Mexico and one of the singers did this Michael Jackson song. Great, but not as good as the original.

Is there any nation sillier than France?

We can understand that Germany and a few other countries who actually perpetrated the Holocaust will be sensitive about it, especially when they still have far right groups who make the BNP look moderate, but does such denial of free expression, in the absence of any wider anti-semitic agenda, really have any point elsewhere?

France already has a law allowing imprisonment for up to a year of anyone who disputes the existence of any "crime against humanity" or seek to excuse or vindicate the perpetrators. This is purely idiotic. People may reasonably have doubts about whether events were actually as presented and, given the falsehoods that have been perpetrated throughout history, they may not always be wrong. We also know that real life events do not tend to fit quite so snugly into these simplistic scenarios about evil people attacking the innocent. Sometimes those "evil" people feel, not always without justification, that they and their families were under threat.

Now France has passed a law outlawing any denial of the Armenian Genocide. We don't have any particular doubts about the reality of a genocide which fits the real history of Islam as opposed to the airbrushed nonsense that is always being peddled and we don't object to offending an increasingly Islamic Turkey as any friction that makes their accession to the EU less likely has to be good thing but what really is the point of a law restricting free speech about an event that happened nearly a century ago in a country that was not involved?

It gets dafter than that. In France it is illegal to collect ethnic statistics and that is purely insane. As we have said before, while there is a case for not shouting the problems caused by some minorites due to the damage this causes to the better ones among them, the government should certainly be collecting and using data to make proper policy decisions. If migrants from some countries are disproportionately crap and, let's face it, some are, we need to tighten up on immigration from them and stop repeating the same mistakes.

Still, at least this move by France seems not to fit the normally liberal left agenda on these things, where it is only the actions of the white right that are the focus. Maybe, if we are going to get these silly laws, we should call 9/11 a crime against humanity and prosecute all these conspiracy theorists. At least it might stop them boring us all to death.

Speaking Il of the dead

Now that the Great Leader, Roy Orbison of North Korea is dead one wonders why it should actually make any difference. He never did anything positive for his people in life so he could do just the same now he is dead. Maybe he should stay in power, it might be a much better option for the North Koreans than another fat bloated pampered son.


Why not make all those running for public office here assign rights over their dead bodies to the general public? What happened to them would be determined by polls. Those who were only moderately crap, like Wilson or Home, or really crap but basically decent, like Callaghan or Major, would get dignified funerals. The utterly awful malignant bastards, like Heath, Blair or Brown, would not get buried at all but get nailed to walls and left to rot so people could see how death has improved them. It might give future leaders some idea what the British public expects.

Story

The latest xoggoth Tale: Out of it

Moth

We at bloggoth normally rescue little creatures but it's far too cold outside and this one seems quite happy to overwinter in the bathroom. This wierd little plane-shaped creature is a Plume Moth.

PS Odd how nearly all similar photos on the net appear to be shot indoors, mainly on light coloured or tile surfaces that you might see in bathrooms. Clearly this is rather a pervy little moth that likes to watch people in the bath or shower or ...

More sense from an unexpected quarter - 2

Darn it. First lefty twat Bob Crow and now we find we agree with comments the Arsebishop of Canterbury on the Arab "Spring".

It seems probable that the nearest there will be to democracy in the Middle East in the foreseeable future is that strange Muslim sort under which, even assuming there are elections, only Muslims can participate in government above the lowest levels and only Imams in the hierarchy of the main branches of the faith have any real say over the direction of society. Christians and others, as in nearly every Muslim country throughout the world, will be marginalised or even persecuted minorities and their decline will go on.

Democracy in which all sane, adult, law abiding citizens do not have an equal say is not democracy at all.

Having one's voice heard

One of the daftest things one hears about distancing oneself from some useless or failing international organisation like the EU is the idea that we "lose influence on the world stage".

How is being just one member of a large committee that imposes its collective decisions on us having global influence as a nation? How is having British views or interests diluted or negated before we even get on to that "world stage" raising our profile on it? We are the eighth largest economy and the fifth largest military power. Not exactly what we were in Gladstone's day, it's true, but not insignificant either. Having to have our decisions approved by Luxembourg or Latvia helps how exactly?


Bastard moon

A couple of years back we had the best meteor shower for a hundred years and it was a cloudy week in xoggoth land. Last night we had a partial lunar eclipse and naturally the f* moon was still behind the trees when it happened. We might have caught the tail end but naturally as soon as it cleared them a lot of cloud had appeared. F* moon!

Never mind, we managed to catch the eclipse the previous night. What? Two eclipses in two nights? Is that even possible? cry the non existent readers! Of course it is. We have the photographic proof right here.


1,2,3. It takes a few tries to get the order right.

We at bloggoth are not half so judgemental on Cameron as some righties as there are some realities that have to be lived with in a coalition. The real culprits in the failures to confront the f* EU are all you f* idiots who voted Lib Dem or, far more insanely considering their awful record, shitty Labour.

Still, we were pleasantly surprised at his refusal to sign up for yet another treaty, which would supposedly be used only to tackle the EU crisis and, as with every other treaty/agreement/charter/act/whatever would have been used by the Euro fanatics to impose their grandiose schemes on all of us before we are ready or the conditions are suitable, by the more powerful nations to serve their own interests or, as is increasingly apparent from the bile being spouted by Sarkozy and others, out of shear spite because we do not give wholehearted approval to their provenly idiotic agenda.

Not that the Eurozone crisis will be solved by the new accord as it only feigns to address one nonsense. Finally, these idiots appear to have grasped that a common currency without common regulations on tax, financial dealings, commerce and industry, extending to those things that affect them, such as welfare or working practices, cannot work.

There is one more nonsense left to grasp. How many years will it take them to realise that common laws and regulations imposed on disparate economies and societies won't work either?


Update: One of the soundest articles on the proposed EU treaty is here. Wasteful public expenditures do need to be cut but this crisis is not solely about feckless governments and lazy Greeks as has been portrayed but about a fundamental imbalance in economies created by the lunacy of a single currency from which Germany has profited more than any. What to do now with the debt ridden countries? Why not impose a rigid conformity on disparate nations that the most successful economy in the world, the US, has never imposed on its own states? Why not have uniform tax rates that prevent them attracting any new investment? Yeh, that makes sense. Not. She seems to have some sort of reputation as a sound politician but Merkel is actually one of the stupidest and most disastrous national leaders of modern times. She almost makes Gordon Brown look sensible.

e petition to legalise cannibalism

Times are hard and money is short so why are we wasting good meat and taking up valuable land for burials or contributing to global warming with cremations?

Everyone agrees that it is a noble thing to allow posthumous use of one's organs to save or enhance the lives of those needing transplants, so how is a final contribution of a freezer full of Sunday lunches for one's family any different? We are sure Deliah Smith can come up with some great recipes to ensure that even fat or boney old people will make a tasty meal. Some may feel that eating one's parents, offspring or siblings seems a bit incestuous but they can always set up local cooperatives and do a swap.

We have been to the government's website and set up an e-petition here. If 100,000 of the non existent readers sign it we can get it debated in parliament. To provide extra incentive, 10 signaturies will be chosen at random and left a slice of xoggoth to eat in our will if the law is passed.

PS And why are there no rude bits donations for proper sex change transplants?

Fat bald twat alert

Some idiot is claiming a trademark infringement by our small company due to use of our logo which bears only the faintest resemblance to his and which was in use nearly 2 years before his. We are in completely different areas of business and neither is likely to impact the other in any way.

We hate petty minded little arseholes like this. He has clearly not taken any legal advice and is ignorant of the clauses of the Trade Marks Act 1994 which, even if the mark was almost identical, require the companies to be in the same area of business such that a confusion exists between the two.

Not only has he no case under section 10 but lawyers advise strongly that one should never claim trademark infringement without proper legal advice as the mere threat of legal action can lay a claimant, either the company or the individual making the claim, open to suite under section 21 dealing with unjustified infringement claims.

We feel vindictive, some people need to be taught a lesson.

Moving on

Funny how tastes change. Some artists we used to like, like Marianne Faithful (saw her live once before her nose grew and she turned into Edith Piaf) or The Rolling Stones, (with a few exceptions, like I Wanna Be Your Man) have very little appeal these days. Same with serious/opera, used to love Kiri Te Kanawa but now she seems rather bland. On the other hand, a singer I never used to rate, I now rather like. Andrea Bocelli.

PS Can't be bothered with a bloggoth lyricy thing but according to Bing this is the translation. Don't ask us what piango means.

This my song
Hymn of love
You sing now
With my sorrow
So strong, so great
It pierces the heart.

But clear is in the morning
between the smell of wine
I dreamed and now
I see you again
Ah, nostalgia
Fresco of the Hill
I pìango that madness
He was to leave later on.

This melody
Hymn of love
You singing and feel
All my sorrow
So strong, so great
It pierces the heart.

But clear is in the morning
among the fields a large windmill
There was my destiny
bitter without you ...
bitter without you.

And this core canta
A sweet melodrama
Is the anthem of love
Who will sing for you
Is a melodrama that
That song without you.

Tyres, coins and illegal immigrants in the shed

Some bastard has been letting our van tyre down again recently. It doesn't happen if we put the CCTV in the bedroom window where it is pretty obvious but we don't want it there permanently as it's very ugly and takes up space on the dressing table. We would rather catch the ****.


We were digging among the junk in the shed to make a stand for our tiny radio camera and found some Filipino coins. Where the hell did they come from? We have never been to the Phillipines and don't know anyone who has. About 10 years ago our town hospital recruited a few Filipino nurses and, as always happens when you open the door to any poorish country, more and more have been coming to the town and you now see them everywhere. Last year a nail bar was raided and illegals were detained. Oh no! The xoggoth shed must be on the trafficers' radar, we must inform the authorities! Although if they open a brothel there, we might forget to report it.

Back to the tyre. Before today, it has only ever gone down on a Sunday or Bank holiday but today it was let down on a Monday and could have caused an accident as we drove off without noticing. MR PS had a day off. Coincidence? We thought he wasn't that childish but could we be overestimating the cretin?

PS Re PS. Nope, not guilty (pity) discovered this strange erratic fault was actually caused by the wheel trim being on incorrectly and pressing on valve. Not sure how it was erratic but put it on properly and no probs since.

Free reading of our future

Saw an ad from a psychic and astrologer offering to tell my future for free. Free??? Somebody only has to say the words cheap or free and we at bloggoth are hooked. Of course we used the fictional name/email account *Note 1 that we use for bollux like that to avoid spam to our real account. Our phoney surname looks like it should be a common British one but it actually doesn't exist and Google brings up no other occurences. So what is the probable future of a fictional character?

This was not an automated thing dear sceptical non existent reader, so it took at least a day to do a complete job of analysing our "name", date of birth, zodiac influence and the current planetary positions in the sky but we are pleased to say that the nice lady was "overwhelmed by intense revelations" when she looked at my fictitious self's case. He has enormous potential and is only held back by some invisible hand. It seems he is also a very rare individual, one who is on the cusp of a Transit Period that begins in a couple of weeks and could find himself immensely richer and happier if he makes the right decisions during that brief period and knows how to protect himself from harmful unlucky vibrations by a person who is envious of him. Of course his chances are much better with some guidance and he is fortunate that the nice lady is so interested in his case that she has offered her help at a much reduced price. Time is running out, so he had better act fast!!!

Pity we didn't get a rude message back saying Norah has looked at your details and found that you are an invented phony, we might have been more convinced.

Update: Wow! It seems that we at bloggoth, or rather our fictional persona, we shall call him NOT Mr X, is really special! The nice lady has emailed to say that, right out of the blue, she was struck by an unsolicited vision of him standing at the middle of a grand intersection, and only one path had an aura of peace, happiness and passion for life. This vision was so unprecedented that she has created a special page on the website just for him! What a fool NOT Mr X would be not to pay for the lifechanging advice!

Update PS: Ah! We missed a previous email about a great opportunity that would present itself around mid afternoon yesterday. Let's see, don't think receiving a letter theatening legal action in respect of a supposed trademark infringement counted as a great opportunity, so must have been the purchase of a 2nd hand bike. That must be it! How uncannily accurate these predictions are!

Note 1: The account is only set up in ultrafunk Popcorn which downloads headers only, so no attachments with potential viruses and a single click deletes everything on the server. We at bloggoth thoroughly recommend it.

Nearly forgot

Reading biography of Stephen King. Very poor childhood in some ways, abandoned by his father early on and the family was continually moving from one place to another while his mother earned a living in a series of menial jobs. In later life he had huge problems with alcohol and cocaine addiction but nevertheless was a decent man, did a lot of philanthropic work, had a stable marriage, cared for his kids and kicked his addiction cold turkey when his wife gave him an ultimatum. Some of his non horror stuff, like The Shawshank Redemption, puts him among the greatest modern writers in our view.

He nicked all his ideas from we at bloggoth of course. Still, we can't single him out for that, everybody does it. That reminds us, wrote a new short story last week, Taking a short cut. Watch out for a new 56,0000 page Stephen King novel on the same theme next year.

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Dashboard

We at bloggoth like our new(ish) van, although we have never been arsed to figure out what all those mysterious dashboard lights are. Once a dashboard used to have just oil and ignition lights with proper bulbs inside but now there is a great black panel with all sorts of glowing LED shapes on them.

We are very envious, we want to be covered in mysterious orange indicators too. It is most unfair that machines evolve so rapidly while we humans have to wait millions of years until Darwin gets round to it. Given that there are heart rate and blood pressure monitors, why cannot science equip us all with little dashboards with lots of indicators and warnings? As a start, we could have one like this with temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, cholesterol level, hydration level, brain activity, Body Mass Index, time to sleep, biological age, time to eat, time to pee and time to poo.


Dashboard PS

Of course, while realtime embedded health monitors may be a good thing there could be times you won't want to know.


Turkey's democratic dusk

There is an interesting article in New Europe about "Turkey's democratic dusk". The media is being controlled and military officers and others who have defended the secular Kemelist tradition have been arrested on trumped up charges.

Increasingly the state is controlled by Gulenists, followers of the "moderate" Islamist Ferthullah Gulen, who are finding their way into important positions of power in the government, the police, the judiciary, the military and the security services. Even more worryingly, children are being targetted in schools and indoctrinated in the need for Islamic law and this is not just happening in Turkey but in the more secular Muslim countries and in non Muslim countries - this is a worldwide movement which presents itself as moderate but seeks to establish Sharia.

Check Gulen's comments on human rights here. This is a man who sees rights as being defined by the Qur'an, who dismisses consideration of all other views on how they should be defined by saying that it is not possible to talk about them with those who have no faith in God, stating that they do not show respect for truth and even implying that they are following the example of Satan. Are his views and the contempt he displays for those of non Muslims really compatible with a rational, secular democracy that treats all citizens equally? Is he even being honest in his so-called tolerance? According to that 2nd link, in 1999 Turkish television aired footage of Gülen delivering sermons to a crowd of followers in which he revealed his aspirations for a Turkey ruled by Sharia:

You must move in the arteries of the system without anyone noticing your existence until you reach all the power centers … until the conditions are ripe, they [the followers] must continue like this. If they do something prematurely, the world will crush our heads, and Muslims will suffer everywhere, like in the tragedies in Algeria, like in 1982 [in] Syria … like in the yearly disasters and tragedies in Egypt. The time is not yet right. You must wait for the time when you are complete and conditions are ripe, until we can shoulder the entire world and carry it … You must wait until such time as you have gotten all the state power, until you have brought to your side all the power of the constitutional institutions in Turkey … Until that time, any step taken would be too early—like breaking an egg without waiting the full forty days for it to hatch. It would be like killing the chick inside. The work to be done is [in] confronting the world. Now, I have expressed my feelings and thoughts to you all—in confidence … trusting your loyalty and secrecy. I know that when you leave here—[just] as you discard your empty juice boxes, you must discard the thoughts and the feelings that I expressed here.

Both the Dutch authorities and the FBI are looking into the activities of this group, including connections to radical or terrorist organisations. There are clear problems for Western leaders in breaking links with what was once a major political and military ally but at least the way Turkey is moving away from democracy towards an increasingly authoritarian Islamic state does not seem to have entirely escaped their notice. Just maybe they will have reservations about letting it into the EU.

On the other hand, our rulers are total fucking idiots who usually fail to grasp obvious facts, for example, that a common currency between very different economies could not work, that the war in Afganistan was not winnable or that the Arab "Spring" would be nothing of the sort, so we do not hold out that much hope.

Dream

Dreams often reflects the experiences of the day or perhaps a news story or TV program. After seeing a bit of Childen in Need the other night we had a dream about taking children up in a flying transparent cylinder and dropping them at random in peoples' gardens. When we woke up we were convinced it was a great solution to the problem of children in care who are difficult to place with foster parents.

Our much more logical waking self feels it needs a minor modification in that the worst kids, the ones who are clearly going to be the next generation of criminals, are dropped into volcanoes instead. Otherwise, it's a great idea.

Whoops, racist assumption right again

Read the headline here about cat coursing, used to train dogs for dog fighting, and thought "the Midlands or Lancashire will probably feature prominently". Oh dear, right again. That news is in The Daily Mail so must be wrong according to the lefty mantra. What does the liberal lefty BBC say about dog fighting in the Midlands? Oh dear:

Ian Briggs, chief inspector of the RSPCA's Special Operations Unit said dog-fighting is up 400% in the past three years in the UK.

"Out of all the work we do 98% is Asian".

...
Dog fighting is part of life in rural Punjab and Kashmir and there are fears that its acceptability could be increasing among a new generation of young Asians in the UK aware of fathers, uncles and cousins attending dog fights in Pakistan.

This long banned "sport" is not just one of Pakistanis as the extent of it in Scotland and some other areas indicates. However, there is no doubt that this is an issue, along with others that most would regard as more important like female equality or freedom of religion, where immigration has contributed significantly to a rise in unnacceptable attitudes and practices that we spent centuries trying to eliminate.

When we take in people from backward nations without adequate checks, let them refuse to integrate fully and allow them to retain strong cultural links with their countries of origin it is hardly surprising that we import backward views. Not PC to say it of course but this is an observable truth and acceptance of it, "racist" or not, leads to suprisingly accurate assumptions.

Well done

We at bloggoth have previously provided many great tips towards getting the important things of life as cheaply as possible, such as here, here, here or here. What is more important for a lady (ok, us) than a huge bottom? According to this news item a fake doctor used cement, super glue, mineral oil and tyre sealant to give himself/herself/itself and another person gigantic arses. Naturally we at bloggoth heartily approve of him/her/whatever. We don't really care about someone's gender when he/she/it has an anormous arse as we would never bother to look round the front anyway.

Let's see, got an old bag of cement and the van's engine oil needs changing. Tyre sealant and superglue are a bit expensive but got a bicycle pump and some sellotape, sorted! Oh missus xoggoth? Got a present for you! On the other hand, a bum made of cement, especially given that we might go overboard a bit, may have some downsides.


Cows

Another great sunny footpath jogging day. A problem round here is that most of the farms are cattle farms, so you are often gingerly picking your way through fields full of bulls or skittish bullocks, ducking under electric fences or wading ankle deep in manure.

That cow pooy footpath today was a nightmare. Just wait until we at bloggoth get our parish path inspector's certificate next week, then he's in for it! Ooh! Just imagine the JOY of issuing a Schedule D (x1) Notice in accordance with sub section J (2) of the Public Rights of Way Act (1998) Amendment 4 requiring it to be cleaned up.

Trouble is, we've met the couple from that farm and they are very pleasant. Funny how you volunteer for things thinking it might be fun and interesting and immediately find yourself in a minor dilemma. To report the poo or not to report the poo? Nah! We at bloggoth have already issued an Exemption under Section J Clause 4(iii) of the bloggoth Ignoring Rules When We Feel Like It act.

This week's article that we at bloggoth would have written had we been arsed to do so

Nick Robinson on how government wastes our money

Social progress

We at bloggoth had a dream with a black guy in it last night and naturally we are very pleased. Do others have multi ethnic dreams that properly reflect our exciting rich culture? We certainly hope so.

It is surely high time that the government required everyone (ie the white British) to don brain monitoring equipment at night so they can ensure that all dreams are properly inclusive. Anyone who has dreams that fail to reflect the nature of our splendidly vibrant society in an entirely positive way would have to report for correction.

Yeh

No idea what this sort of heavy beat music(?) is called but love it. Great words too. Stretch me, bite me, kiss my ass...

PS It's Industrial Splatter Porno Pop apparently.

More

Like father, unlike son

Hate the principle of royalty but have always quite liked the Duke of Edinburgh. Another bit of sense from him here, Wind farms are useless. Quite. On the other hand his eldest son, The Prince Of Daftness is an irrational fucking idiot.

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Hugging - yuck!

People have been queueing to be hugged by this lady. Being hugged is supposed to release a hormone, Oxytocin that has a calming effect on the brain and increases empathy. Some people seem to hug everyone they meet. We at bloggoth cannot stand being hugged. Being hugged by anyone except the missus bloggoth and, er, well, no, only missus bloggoth obviously, results in release of huge quantities of carbolic acid and creosote, we could use our blood to treat a fence after being hugged. Why would any man want to be hugged by anyone except a lady when there was a possible bonk going?

Maybe we are lacking in some essential social programming here to our own detriment. If only there was something to encourage bonding with our fellow man that wasn't quite so personal. Perhaps other social animals have some better ideas. What would monkeys do?

Ah yes. Picking off and eating each other's fleas. That's more like it, not just about bonding but practical too and you don't have the embarrassment of having to look at the other person. If I could just lie on my stomach while somebody fumbled around with my bottom I think I could quite enjoy social bonding. Maybe it's a variation that nice Hindu lady should consider.

The unrecognised genius of our "unemployable" yoof

In the wake of the announcement of huge levels of youth unemployment we have had more reports in the usual papers that British youth, unlike our wonderful immigrants, lack the right work ethic. They would rather stay at home on welfare and play computer games.

On the other hand, with a bit of imagination, this attitude could be used to our advantage. Perhaps the UK can lead the way into a new golden age of industry and commerce. Why not use the power of computing to create a virtual reality that controls a, erm, real reality and harness the decision making skills of gamers to enact real life decisions in the workplace or use their fast reactions to build things quickly? Maybe choice of powers, skills and weapons of your games characters could be linked to real data, making sound choices over whether to grant a morgtage or decide treatment based on a patient's symptoms. Some games involve creation of a virtual worlds, so maybe the likes of Wimpey Homes could feed in real parameters and use the results as the outline plans for new housing estates.

In any case, our British yoof are going to come in really handy when the earth is invaded by dragons, aliens, demons from hell or monsters from another dimension. Who else will know how to tackle the threat? Not those hard working immigrants, that's for sure, nobody will be able to fight off the evil time lord Kanzoor using their shelf stacking skills. Who will have the last laugh then eh?

Never ending nightmare

What the hell do the locked in think about? The TV had an interview with someone who had been in that condition for many months but had made a full recovery. He reported that he had felt frustrated. Frustrated? I can’t imagine I would apply such a bland description because it would be the most terrifying experience it could be possible to have. It would be a nightmare, but one from which it would be impossible to wake.

I know this because every real nightmare I have ever had has been about just that, being trapped, unable to move, unable to escape from some small place, being totally helpless. So profound has been the effect of this occasional occurrence that when I have awoken the effects have stayed with me. In near panic I have had to get up and turn all the lights on, watch anything on TV or pace back and forward just to get back the feeling of reality and physical interaction with the world. It has sometimes been an hour before I have been able to go back to bed, turn out the light and lie still without the loss of those sensory stimuli starting the anxiety up again.

If you were locked in, how could you apply these remedies? How would your mind alone ever be able to stop the panic or avoid being overwhelmed by that overpowering feeling of unreality?

Going backwards

We were going to rant about the BBC cutting programs while still wasting licence payers' money on providing a news service to the world in umpteen languages but got totally diverted by some interesting technical points.

We all know Arabic is read from right to left but you have to select a block of webpage text backwards too. On this BBC Arabic page you have to start top right then move down/left rather than top left and down/right. That is also true if you paste it into notepad. It seems there are various fairly simple additions to HTML tags to implement right oriented pages (when the scroll bar appears at the left) and to reverse text on websites, although when we tried the latter on a paragraph here it didn't work.

Me? Do horrible Muslimy Arabic? Said the bloggoth page, not on your nelly! Quite right, bloggoth page, I don't know what I was thinking. This blog hasn't been the same since we lost the wise council of Mr Manky Sheep Skull. We suspect he may have been kidnapped by Al Qaeda.

PS We thought Google translate was much better than Yahoo babelfish but it's useless at Arabic. If using IE9, right click and use Translate with Bing, it's brill,the page appears in almost perfect English. Jeez! It's ten times as dull as the stuff the BBC feed us. Lots of old news about cartoons of the prophet. We recall reading somewhere that Arabs have no normal sense of now, maybe that's why some think their selective tales of Muslim tolerance in 13th century spain have any relevance to today.

Ramblings

The non existent reader will not have noticed but we at bloggoth like little creatures far more than crappy human beings. We were most saddened to find this very recently deceased pheasant today, cause of death unknown as it had no visible injuries, not even a feather out of place. The missus xoggoth collects feathers for her American Indian days but we could not bring ourselves to desecrate the little corpse. The first fox or badger to find it tonight will not be so respectful unfortunately.

And we accidentally destroyed a mouse's nest while tidying up a big pile of tree trimmings at the weekend. Sob! We are now planning to set up lots of little mouse homes made of old boxes under the shed by way of compensation. Was it planning a late crop of little meeces? According to this there is a second spring going on. While running in teashirt today we took several photos of freshly blooming wildflowers. Some branches I chucked on the bonfire pile three weeks ago have tiny new shoots on them. That's wierd! A bit like Anne Boleyn's head opening its eyes and asking what's for breakfast.

Elkie Brooks - Don't Cry Out Loud

This week's article that we at bloggoth would have written had we been arsed to do so

here

Public sector fraud

According to this, fraud by public sector workers is on the increase and these internal fraudsters now account for over 50% of the total. If cuts to their perks, early retirement and subsidised pensions goes ahead, especially if the cuts also reduce controls, we can assume this percentage will increase.

Awful! Something must be done. On the other hand, the missus bloggoth does keep pressing us to decorate the downstairs toilet.

Another hero

Not really into football but from now on Harry Redknap, who is facing trial for tax evasion can do no wrong and has automatically entered the bloggoth list of absolute heros. We hope his team, whoever they are, trample the rest of them, like er town, and um city and um and er, to win the trophy, league, cup or whatever it is that football teams play for.

More meaningless gestures

Those of us who bother to check out what Islam actually means for non Muslims throughout much of the Islamic world will know that extremist groups are merely the most extreme end of a creed whose principles mostly have no compatability with our own. What other creed has quite so many "untypical" extreme "minorities"? It needs tackling here before we become second class citizens in this country just as non Muslims are in most Islamic countries.

Yesterday we saw Muslims Against Crusades banned. A step in the right direction? No it isn't! This is a pointless gesture since they will soon pop up again under a new name. Restraints on free speech, unless it is an incitement to violence, are of no benefit to our society whether by extremist Muslims or by those who oppose them. It's a fine line; on the one hand, we don't want these people to stir up indiscriminate hatred that might spill over on to those Muslims who really don't want Shariah law. On the other hand, society is rarely well served by pretence and silencing this group makes it that much easier for some to perpetuate the cosy myth of tolerant Islam. On balance, given the ignorance that abounds about its true nature, these people were probably doing us all a favour by making some look at it a bit more closely.

We need effective actions, specifically, controlling our borders to ensure we get no more like this and ensuring that the young and impressionable are not infected with this nonsense in British schools, at universities and on the net. All we get from governments throughout Europe, as with full veil bans, is mere window dressing.


Update. Told you so

Gee, thanks

Where is all this mild sunny weather the South East was promised this week? We at bloggoth went to the gym earlier in the week on a moderately pleasant afternoon, having been told Friday would be even nicer. Now it's all grey and damp looking. What does the local weather forecast say? Hey! A bit of sun at 4pm! Great! Perhaps I can go for a jog after all!

As that's 18 minutes before sunset, maybe I'd better take a torch.

More sense from the unexpected quarter

Not for the first time that arch lefty Bob Crow has said something we agree with:

"From Siemens' involvement in the betrayal of Bombardier through to Deutsche Bahn taking over the UK's Grand Central franchise last week, EU diktat is driving a German corporate takeover of Britain's railways."

"Profits that could be invested in our services are instead spirited out of the country without touching the sides." "It is extraordinary that the German companies can't even be bothered to translate their safety instructions into English and instead UK rail workers have to take responsibility with these crash courses in O-level German."

From the perspective of the rest of us who have to foot the bill for public sector workers' perks or large salaries for those who, like tube drivers, are completely unecessary, lefty union leaders like Crow are a malignant force. As most of the bill has to be picked up by ordinary workers in the private sector who do not get these things themselves, it sure isn't socialism.

On the other hand, leaving aside the usual leftist hypocrisy, defending their own members is what union leaders are paid to do and perhaps Crow should also get some credit for defending British workers as opposed to internationalist ideals that benefit only big businesses.

Artwork is irreplaceable. On the other hand...

We have always thought that those who damage or steal irreplaceable artwork or historic artifacts deserve the severest punishments. In so far as there was one, the best justification for tackling the Taliban was their destruction of the Bamiyan Statues and many other Hindu artworks. Left to their own devices those miserable men, brainwashed from birth into probably the most malignant, joyless and irrational major creed the world has known, would have erased the cultural products of millenia to the detriment of the world.

On the other hand we have no particular concern about destruction of "artwork" that almost anyone could knock together from old bits and pieces in a day. Klippenberger was not talentless so one is suspicious that when he did put together stuff like that or this, it was a cynical act to profit from his reputation with minimal effort. Some modern art is awful but much is inspiring and requires real talent. Modern or traditional, figurative or abstract, one thing the Western art world has always had is immense variety, something to suit every taste.

Except the Taliban's obviously. To return to the original subject, if we don't tackle the growth of Islam at home, a visit to an art gallery could one day get a lot worse unless you like patterns or coloured calligraphy. Probably more inspiring to stay at home and stare at your Homebase wallpaper.

Yet again, the real left are much more sensible

As we have said before AACATFFAC * many of those who call themselves socialists in the West are nothing of the sort because socialism requires that nobody gets from others more than they need and that everyone should contribute according to their ability. If you check out the history of communist states (self styled socialist republics), these are principals that, bribery and corruption aside, have often been enforced pretty harshly.

Our pseudo lefties oppose measures like workfare, moving people out of social housing that is too big for their needs or in expensive areas that the employed cannot afford to live in. It may be, as with increased disability checks, that there can be valid concerns that need to be addressed but that does not justify total opposition to the principles. Perhaps those who oppose attempts to ensure that welfare goes only to those who really need it and who see them as measures by the nasty right should read what real communists say:

Also last night, the chairman of the supervisory board of China Investment Corporation, the country’s sovereign wealth fund, put further distance between China and the eurozone bail-out, saying that Europe’s bloated welfare state meant that people did not work hard enough.

"I think if you look at the troubles which happened in European countries, this is purely because of the accumulated troubles of their worn out welfare societies", Jin Liqun said in an interview with Al Jazeera television. "I think the labour laws are outdated – the labour laws induce sloth, indolence rather than hard working. The incentive system is totally out of whack."

*And Actually Could Be Arsed To Find For A Change

Hedgehogs and nice chaps and Queen

We like Queen even more now, knowing that the great guitarist Brian May is silly about little creatures. Looking after a brain damaged Hedgehog is the epitome of civilised behaviour in our view.

Much better use of money than foreign aid to Somalia. Will a saved hedgehog grow up and start kidnapping elderly ladies in Kenya or come to the UK and live off our welfare while contributing to gang mayhem on our streets or go to the US and plot another 9/11? Probably not.

Bottoms and nice chaps and Queen

We always liked Queen, what a pity Freddy wasn't a bit more careful with his bottom, we might have got lots more great rock songs. Like the very funny Kenny Everett, another great bottom related loss to the world.

Come to think of it, how many really malignant homosexual despots has the world seen? Definite or possible homosexual rulers included Alexander the Great, the Emperor Hadrian, Richard the Lionheart, Julius Caesar, Saladin and Frederick the Great but none were considered the worst/most oppressive leaders by the admittedly low standards of their times. So what about the most famous butchers/dictators like Caligula, Nero, Ivan the terrible, Attila the Hun, Hitler, Stalin, Mao Zedong, Pol Pot, Fidel Castro, Idi Amin, Papa Doc Duvalier, Jean-Bédel Bokassa, Robert Mugabe, Tamerlane, RobeSpierre, Kim Jong il, Nicolae Ceausescu, Idi Amin or Saddam Hussein? Some "flexibility" in sexuality in some cases, Caligula would cuckold both a man and his wife, but none was wholly homosexual that we have read.

Most of the world's major problems are caused by male testosterone. Perhaps homosexuals, like women, are a bit less of a liability. Except perhaps those wierdly ultra macho ones with the huge moustaches and bulging biceps - a future dictator there?

PS There's serial killers of course but then who hasn't done a bit of serial killing?

PPS We have received an email from Caligula's lawyers demanding retraction of the above slander. Damn! That's the problem with posting comments about gods.

Utter crap

As we have said before but CBATF Note 1, we always thought Sentamu was fairly sensible (for a bishop), better than the Arsebishop of Canterbury on the issue of Islam anyhow. Public figures from ethnic minorities who are prepared to take a balanced view rather than just push the victim mentality can be an asset as they can state realities about some migrant issues that whites can't. Unfortunately, by definition, no bishop can be sensible on bishopy issues as this indicates.

"Illness can be... mental but it can also be spiritual" ? No it can't! "Spiritual" illness is mental illness, the only sense in which it can be termed spiritual is when the strength of belief in utter crap is a factor in the mental state. If any of us believe something, whether its because we think we have been bewitched or we think we are going to die because of a false cancer diagnosis, it is irrelevant to our mental state that the threat is not real. The mental state in turn can affect the psysical condition. We don't doubt his story about the girl left unable to move after attending a Satanist ritual Note 2 but it is a known psychosomatic condition called Conversion Disorder and can happen to anyone subject to major trauma or stress.

If the bishop wants to spout such bollux from the pulpit that's entirely a matter for church goers but why, in the 21st century, are we still automatically giving Bishops seats in the house of Lords so they can influence our laws at taxpayers' expense?

Note 1:Cannot Be Arsed To Find
Note 2: Although we suspect that there was more to the cause than the bishop says he was told.

Water

More of life's little coincidences. Just a couple of days ago on a jog we took this picture of a local reservoir on our crappy phone camera:

Then today we came across this news from Southern water that everyone in our area will have to have water meters fitted in 2013 due to a projected water shortage:

Our metering programme is driven by the fact that in 2007, the South East region was classed by the Environment Agency as an area of serious water stress. The effects of climate change with warmer and drier years, alongside the projected population growth in the region, will put further pressure on the water that is naturally available.

So which is the major factor in this further pressure? Climate change or population growth? According to this report a warmer climate will increase demand by 150 Ml/d by 2026 while demands of the planned South East Housing Plan plus contingency for assumed extra inward migration is 235 Ml/d.

This is just another in a whole list of factors and problems caused or exacerbated by mass immigration that is never taken into account in those idiotic studies of how it benefits us all.

Business opportunity

As we said just a little while ago xoggoth.org appears to have a minor profile in the sex industry, about which we are obviously most pleased.

Now we have a genuine email from a Chinese manufacturer/wholesaler about a remarkable sex toy which has a double vibrating end which could "stimulate two points or two people at the same time". Hang on - minimum order quantity of 1000 units? $20 each? Somebody has not only slightly overestimated the scale of the xoggoth conglomerate but seriously failed to grasp the xoggoth ethos!

It doesn't look that difficult, just a curved rubbery double ended knobby thing. Let's see, couple of party balloons filled with rice? Probably a bit floppy. I know, how about that old foam pipe insulation in the shed? There's a bit of red paint left over from the old garage door too. Brilliant! Now, just need to vibrate it a bit, hmmmm, got some old loud speakers here.

No change there then

Out jogging today and there was one of those council notices on a telegraph pole about a forthcoming road closure so BT could fix some phone lines. One part read:

Permission will begin on 16th November 2011 and continue for one year or until the work is completed, whichever is the sooner. However, it only expected that the road will be closed on the 16th November 2011.

So, work is expected to last a day but they get permission to fanny about and inconvenience motorists for a year if they feel like it! Way back in 2004, the then transport minister Tony McNulty promised legislation to ensure that utilities would be required to complete such work in a reasonable period or face penalties. Four years later nothing had happened and seven years on there has been no change to that nothing.

Not a big issue in the scheme of things but, like the reduction of red tape for business that never happened, it would have been great to be able to credit the last government with something positive. Fat chance.

I am a tree

The leaves of some trees and the hair of some male humans have something in common, they start getting thin from the top although trees will get it all back next year, the lucky bastards! All the flowers will be back too.

How useful it would be if we could get injected with DNA from plants and take on some of their characteristics; just think how great it would be if a full head of luxuriant hair, a handsome/beautiful face and fresh young limbs sprouted every spring time.

Although autumn might be a bit of a bummer.

The true quest goes on

To give Islam some credit, enjoying a bunch of virgins in paradise sounds vastly preferable to standing around praising the lord for eternity.

We bet that at this very moment, hordes of bored male Christian souls in heaven are attempting to evade border controls and sneak into the Muslim paradise next door. Muslim paradise is doubtless full of phony colleges where Christian "students" get fake attendance certificates while secretly working in Fish and Chip shops in the day and sneaking out at night to take advantage of all the young girls they aren't allowed to touch back in heaven.

Not that us rational secular sorts are any better. Through our secret sources at NASA and elsewhere, we at bloggoth have discovered that the main goal of the space program is to discover new sources of exciting porn. The Hubble telescope, the Planck telescope etc are in their infancy but the ultimate goal is to provide huge webcams to be used for the grooming of underage space aliens.

Below left we see a stunning picture from a space telescope, typical of those that have been released to the public. Below right we see a secret picture obtained by we at bloggoth which indicates that these devices are actually far more powerful than we have been told and showing what scientists have actually been looking for, an underage zemale space alien *Note 1 from the planet X55&*-@~#.

Note 1: There are 27 sexes in this species, male, aemale, bemale etc. The zemale is felt to be by far the sexiest, having more tits/bums/fannies etc than all the others. Note that this individual is only 574 years old in a species that lives for approx 6500 years so this picture is probably illegal in some parts of the universe.

Inconsistency on human rights

Cameron has threated to dock aid from countries that do not reform legislation banning homosexuality but more generally has said that those receiving UK aid should adhere to proper human rights.

We quite agree, so what the FUCK is he doing giving huge quantities of aid to arguably the most violent and repressive Islamic nation in the world, Pakistan, where Christians, Hindus, Sikhs and Ahmahdis have been marginalised by law, driven out and almost routinely attacked, often with the complicity of the government and the general support of its backward populace?

Time to stop supporting this shithole of a country and to stop the flow of its disgusting attitudes into our own.

Topic: Inconsistency on human rights       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Urgent - missing mankie report

Loyal non existent readers will be familiar with the sterling work done by the bloggoth editorial staff, the manky skulls, Phil the broken pedometer and Mr P. Now our oldest and most experienced member, Mr Manky Sheep Skull, whom we found in the Peak District back in the late 70s, has gone missing from his home on the edge of our pond. 30+ year old skulls are not normally attractive to animals as food, so this disappearance is a great mystery.

If any non existent readers happen to see him please contact us at xoggoth Towers.

More nonsensical conclusions from government reports

No reason to think the basic figures in government reports are wrong but what we continually get are false conclusions and/or misleading coverage. Like this item in the Independent:

Almost half of the population increase over the next decade will be fuelled by immigration, the ONS figures showed. Of the 4.9 million projected increase over the next 10 years, some 2.1 million (44%) is the assumed net number of migrants.

We saw in this government report that educating children of migrants was quite absurdly excluded from consideration of the net costs of migrants. Now here we go again, counting only new migrants as factors in a huge expansion of the population that will lead to major future problems of housing, food, energy and water supply.

According to this, almost one baby in four was delivered to a mother born overseas in 2008. So, if 56% of the projected expansion of the birth rate is not due to new migrants then 14% of the total expansion must be due to children born of migrants who have already arrived. Since those figures are three years old so probably it's at least 15% by now. The new migrants yet to come will presumably have children at the same rate too, that's another 11%. Any sane assessment of the impact of immigration on future increase in our population would probably arrive at a figure more like 70% than 50.

What, dear non existent lefty reader? Those calculations are a bit crude? We agree, but they are certainly a darn sight closer to the truth than those government reports.

Update: Ah yes, more recent figures say Two thirds. Two thirds is a darn sight nearer "more like 70%" than "nearly half". Once again, crude bloggoth calculation proves more accurate than lefty lies.

At last

Following our triumph over Churchill F* Insurance (Oh yes!) we got an email from the Financial Ombudsman Service asking us to fill in a brief survey. Quite why any of this is relevant we are not sure but we enjoyed ticking the other box in sexual preferences. At last us pig fanciers have been recognised.

PS Oh yes means sometimes

Arab Spring is coming

Libyan laws to be based on Sharia

Islamist party predicted to win the biggest share of the vote in Tunisia

Attacks on Christians in Egypt rise sharply as Islamists gain in power

EU leaders meet for crisis talks on Greek bailout

You don't say - 1

In our experience the liberal left are more likely to substitute smear tactics for argument than the right.

Hardly surprising, given that actual facts to support their rosy views of human nature are few and far between. Anyone making a case against large scale unskilled immigration from the third world, for example, has a wealth of reliable sources to draw on to back the case, including the ONS, police crime reports, hospital and university studies on health and articles about the natures of the countries themselves by reputable sources like the WHO, The US State Department, charities, The Guardian, The Independent or the BBC.

All the LLy has to support his case are personal anecdotes, other people's opinions and slanted reports *Note that ignore all downsides, even the cost of the immigration departments themselves, and yet still show benefits from all migrants, including the highly qualified ones that most have no problems with, that enrich the rest of by peanuts. Still, why do you need facts when you can just accuse your opponents of reading The Daily Mail or sounding like Enoch Powell? Problem sorted.

Note: Like this official report that looks solely at tax less direct benefits of recent migrants and comes up with the princely sum in £6bn in 2006, about £100 for every British resident including the migrants themselves, just 0.3% of average income in return for a 12% increase in our population. Since everyone made a net contribution that year, the additional benefit provided by migrants migrants over the same number of indigenous Brits was actually only £50. To arrive at even this insignificant figure the study ignores almost every downside, even the enormous cost of schooling of children born to migrants, arguing that they are not themselves migrants. It also draws on reports in a highly selective way, quoting Gott and Johnson for example, but not Professor Robert Rowthorn who has a rather different view. Even the Gott and Johnson study states that migrants are more likely to be unemployed and on welfare than indigenous British and that the net benefit is almost entirely down to lower age, ie fewer taking retirement benefits. So what happens when they do retire, often earlier than the rest of us due to poorer health if the government's own figures are correct, having contributed less in tax? Not a lot of forward thinking here.

You dont' say - 2

One does wonder why people resort to trivia to denigrate someone even when almost nobody, apart from a few nutjobs, is defending them.

Hitler was an appalling chap because he killed 6m people and was responsible for a world war. Yep, mister lefty, we have to admit you do have a valid point there. Oh? So he was a rotten artist too? Gosh! we never knew that, the bloke was far worse than we thought! Now we have new evidence of how terrible the man was; it seems he told lies to show himself in a better light. How awful! A politician being economical with the truth! What unbelievable villainy!

Assuming any of it is true. A letter in English, written in the US well after the start of the war, in which a man agrees about what another man said ten years earlier is hardly proof. There is a bit of a contradiction in the rest of it too; if he was an unpopular loner how come he had sufficent influence over his officers for them to award him 5 undeserved medals? Watch out for the forthcoming new "research", based on what a lady's aunt Betty told her in 1962, that they did it in return for use of his skinny little arse.

It is also a measure of the lack of detachment in every debate that anyone who, like we at bloggoth, suggests that new "facts" about a villain don't quite add up must have a hidden agenda and these doubts can therefore be safely dismissed without consideration. Heil Hitler!

Nibble and peck

Why on earth would anyone want to pay to have fish nibble their feet anyway?. Knob woodpeckers now, that would be something worth paying for.

Topic: Knob woodpeckers       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Over population is only part of the problem

A lot of sane people, like Richard Attenborough, have spoken out about the dangers of ignoring overpopulation which is leading us into inevitable disaster.

According to this item the taboo on mentioning on this issue is due to "a bizarre coalition of the religious right and the liberal left ". That isn't bizarre at all. The idea that all human life is valuable, no matter how flawed the individual or how negative its impact on society, is one that these groups share. Humanism is every bit as irrational as religion.

However, are the unreligious right any better? Not much point allowing the world's numerous huddled and useless masses to die off if you continually pursue an ever increasing standard of living for yourself that consumes far more resources than those ex huddled masses ever did. Forests are not being destroyed just by poor farmers clearing land to feed their own children but because of first world demand for raw materials, food, bio fuels and fancy furniture. Wildlife is not just under threat from third world poachers but also from all the toxic rubbish that richer nations generate.

It is not just expansion of world population that needs to be addressed but the absurd idea, embedded in our economies, that standards of living can go on increasing year after year and the equal idiocy that happiness and personal status should be measured by the number of unecessary things we possess.

PS It beats us why people feel the need to have the best of everything; we could certainly afford an expensive car but why anyone would want one when an old van gets from A to B perfectly well is beyond us. Maybe there's a few things we could learn from the third world, like re-use of discarded materials. If only we were allowed to take what we want from council tips we at bloggoth would be round there like a shot, picking over the stuff for bits that might come in handy like any little African kid. Joy!

Cheap security measures

Certain types of crime, like burglaries and street robbery, are rising in the UK.

Even in low crime areas, like xoggothland, street robbery and thefts of farm equipment, vehicles, metal and heating oil have gone from negligible to being a significant concern. Just last week, there was a street robbery targetting mobile phones in a local town and a bloke just up the road had £1000 worth of oil siphoned out of his tank. More importantly obviously, our old van was damaged last year during an attempted vehicle theft. Now even our sheds are under threat. If any of our boxes of rusty old bits of things we have kept because they might come in handy got nicked we would be heartbroken.

We at bloggoth have beefed up security at xoggoth Towers but it isn't cheap. Bad enough the £10 *Note 1 for a combination padlock on the oil tank but replacing the broken lock on the garage door cost us a whole £45!!!! We expect a Holiday in Antiga with depraved services of high class whores thrown in for that sort of money! A little while back we explained a low cost way to avoid being mugged, now here is a great cheap way to protect yourself from crime at home.

On the left above is a real "low cost" CCTV. With the recording equipment and leads, a one camera system will set you back about £160. On the right is the xoggoth CCTV camera we put together in under 5 seconds *Note 2 from a milk bottle, half a Pringles tin and some silver cloth tape. Other realistic features could be added given a bit more time. Put that up in a tree overlooking your shed where it can be noticed but not closely examined and it will deter any would be rusty bits box thief.

Note 1: Well, it probably would have cost that if we hadn't found one in our fabulous box of rusty old bits in the shed!
Note 2: TBH, it might have taken us 2 or 3 minutes if we had not already had half a Pringles tin covered in silver tape but then who hasn't?
PS: It's a good thing nobody reads this or hoards of rusty old bits thieves would now be planning their swoop on xoggoth's treasures.

So

Mumra Gadaffy Duck is dead. Now to build a democratic nation. Yeh, right.

In an Arab country? To build a nation the citizens have to be able to put the needs of that nation above those of the tribe and the extended family. In a Muslim country? Real democracy means an equal say in all aspects of society by all the people regardless of sex and creed and even Muslim countries that have elections, like Pakistan and Malaysia, are not and never have been democracies.

We would comment further on Libya but why be arsed when Max Hasting has said it all?

Who are these useless people?

Having missed out on some fat naked lady pictures from non existent reader Teeth, we at bloggoth allowed links through the anti spammer of our brilliant commenty thing and bastards have immediately started posting comment spam with links to all sort of crap. Who on earth has time to check bloggoth daily to see if the spam settings have been changed? Even an automated thing to submit to the comment boxes of every obscure website in the world would seem immensely costly in terms of machine time.

Maybe, without knowing the content, they are misled by analysis engines into thinking we are more important than we are. Visitors to bloggoth are non existent but visitors to xoggoth.org are not. The top phrases that lead to our site are:

  • safe do it yourself sex toy
  • electric diy sex toy
  • diy sex
  • male love doll d.i.y
  • ladies sex dolls

Clearly the only section that gets visitors, however briefly, is the astute erotics page, although whether our visitors are really looking for instructions for making anal dildos from old newspapers or sex dolls out of toy lions and plastic bottles we rather doubt. Still, it's hits that matter! and this shows that the bloggoth Three R's do not have the right balance, too much Rant and Rubbish, not nearly enough Rude. This WILL be rectified.

PS We bet not many bloggers get a cartoon featured on the prestigious Ecologia e biologia de isópodos terrestres. So there!

The inverted commas British are coming

It was plain even before the details emerged as here that those British men detained by the Kenyans on suspicion of terrorism would not be British but "British". Over and over again, in Britain and outside it, the term British is used to include those who have no allegiance to Britain, who hate British society and who actively work against Britain's interests and those of the British people here and abroad.

Maybe it is time we stopped this double standard of encouraging minorities to cling to their own cultures while simultaneously denouncing as racist any white Briton who wants to do the same thing. We cannot force British citizens to integrate but we should not be actively assisting them not to by providing translators, information in different languages, "culturally sensitive" advice or dedicated TV and radio channels at taxpayer's expense. Any special funding should encourage integration.

For those not born here of British parents, maybe it is time that we stopped doling out British nationality so readily and we do not mean by setting idiotic tests asking when women got the vote etc that any extremist or criminal could easily mug up or cheat on. British nationality is something that should be earned by behaviour over a period of some years and should be withdrawable for at least ten.

And just maybe the foreign office should be less ready to help out such people engaged in anti-Western activities abroad. In the past we would have had another word for these "British" - traitors.

Cookies show the way you crumble

We at bloggoth often knock up our own little PC utilities in Excel VBA. One such is a file utility that, among many other things, allows us to list all the cookies that have accumulated on the PC and delete the ones that look like adware or are for sites we probably won't revisit.

What a revelation! Whereas once we would have been deleting loads of malware and cookies indicating dodgy searches like xoggoth@rammyarse[2].txt or xoggoth@hotbabboonsex.txt now we just find stuff like xoggoth@companieshouse.txt or xoggoth@developer.android[1].txt. The content of the low directory with meaningless names is no better, XECGE8BB.txt is not from a site called X rated Extreme Cunt Gape, it's just The Daily Express.

What will our cookies contain in a few years time? xoggoth@stannahstairlifts.co.uk? xoggoth@hearing.aids.com? We can't wait.

The Chav Nav

Not got a Satnav myself as xoggoth van journeys are all a bit too familiar and predictable these days, although once we get senile and can't remember how to get to the local gym we might buy one. Who would have thought ten years ago that loads of people would have these relatively cheap gadgets that told them in detail how to get from A to B? The next big development is well overdue. Why limit such gadgets to road journeys? Surely they should be directing us how, when and what to do in every area of our lives; it isn't actually such a big step as many people already join up to online lifestyle sites telling them how to keep fit, lose weight etc

We are told that many criminals and long term welfare claimants in our society lack discipline and direction, so we think it would be beneficial if such sorts were forcibly implanted with ChavNavs that enforce a way of life aimed at getting them back into productive society. The implant would be tapped into the nerve centres and if they failed to follow a direction given to them within a five minute period they would receive an increasingly intense pain. The ChavNav would only be removed once they had held down a job and stayed out of trouble for six months.

PS We at bloggoth are very envious of the young chav fashion of having rings through the face and body parts. If only it had been the thing in the 60s and 70s we would have been able to hold all our saggy bits in position with wire and still look cool.

Unattractive solutions

One featured in a couple of films, although forget which, is to protect yourself from cold by cutting open the belly of the corpse of a large animal and sheltering inside it. A rather messy and smelly solution we imagine, whatever the age of the corpse.

Can't recall where I read it but if you ever get trapped in a burning building and are threated with suffocation due to smoke, one way to stay alive until rescuers arrive is to stick a bit of flexible tube down the toilet through the U bend into the waste pipe and breathe through that. The water in the U bend keeps the smoke out of the pipe so you can breath "fresh" air while waiting for rescue. If breathing through your mouth from a pipe connected to the sewer makes you throw up, you are at least in the right place.

What other remedies can the non existent readers think of that seem almost as bad as the problem?

Faccialibro

We at bloggoth signed up to Facebook as part of its company profile thing, although quite what it has done for sales we cannot discover. Occasionally, we get an email about someone else who wants us as a "friend" although, as they seem unconnected with the business purpose we never bother to add them.

Checked it today and the list of photos was too long to count but must now have well over three hundred who would be our "friend" at the click of a button. What we can't understand is why they are virtually all young Italians. The latest is an Aleandra Salinas who does look very chewy from the risque photo and she lists her interest as Men. But why would she add some old fart in the UK? Does she have a curious fetish?

Maybe one of the non existent readers who is not even more ancient than we are can cast some light on this wierd networking site.

Unnaceptable truths

When we are are on the machines at the gym we have to watch boring Sky News, it's either that or CBeebies or just listen to the crappy rap music they keep playing. The lengthy adverts always include a charity appeal, for just £2 a month we can save a child, and not just any child, these kids have names to appeal to the emotions.

Yes, it is tragic, some poor little African kid dying of starvation or malaria or some other "preventable" problem. It isn't their fault to be born where they were born, we in the west just got lucky. On the other hand, leaving aside the emotion over these little individuals, is aid doing anything at all to reduce the problem? As we said a little while back, most studies show that aid given to well governed poor countries is less than 50% efficient in increasing per capita income and in poorly governed countries has no effect at all except to increase the population. Save poor little Alaisa today, and what is the consequence except that your kids will be donating to save her offspring?

There are some things about the world that don't add up. Malthus was right, the time when we could reasonably expect all mankind to share in a reasonable prosperity with sufficient food, warmth, housing, protection and health provision passed 100 years back. There are too many people and too few resources left for this to be possible. Look at the huge impact that growing prosperity in China and India has had on costs of food, energy and raw materials in recent decades, yet most in those countries still live in poverty by Western standards.

Some believe that the world's wealth should be shared more equably. A very few charitable sorts may grasp what this actually means for them but most don't, they think it can be achieved with little impact on themselves. The reality is that a more equal world would mean a huge fall in living standards for the developed world and it will be far worse than people imagine. We would not simply be sharing what we have but decreasing what we have to share as the productive will see no further reason to be so when the fruits of their labour and those of their forebears pass to those who have contributed little.

Can we even be sure that all of the the world's poor will ever contribute equally in this socialist world? Political correctness aside, maybe not. There are no certainties but current realities are about the best guides we have to future ones.

Topic: Unacceptable truths       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Weeds and religion

This Android wild flowers app is turning us religious. To identify your flower you select from a small number of choices for flower colour, flower type, leaf shape and height.

We never noticed before, most people wouldn't, but these flower and leaf shape patterns can be seen over and over again, not just among wild flowers but in garden plants and trees too. What else these plants with a virtually identical leaf or flower shape have in common is... absolutely nothing. They are not related species, they do not have similar habitats, they do not even have the same national origins.

There is a limited number of blueprints used in nature and if they are not set by heredity or environment or common evolutionary pressures, just what is applying them?

Leave off

Bah. Into tests and checks of my Android wild flowers app and was using Google to ensure all the colours are correct. Started typing Dog's Mercury and Google kindly supplied the suggestion "Dogs mating with humans". Naturally we had to have a quick scroll down and were most disappointed, not a fit young lady being serviced by an Alsation anywhere.

Look 'ere Google, if you must distract us from our work like this, at least supply some reward for it.

Bizarre

It's a week for very trivial but wierd things to happen. Dropped a coin on the kitchen floor, it bounced a few times and ended up balanced on its edge almost exacly where I dropped it. Ok, that happens, the next one is impossible to figure.

Doing some strimming and rewound the string on the little spool thing inside as it kept getting stuck. The reel was nearly full, there was at least ten feet of the stuff. Did about two feet of strimming and it stopped cutting again so checked the reel and it was empty, all the string gone, nothing there at all. No sign of it around and it wasn't in a position where it could just shoot off somewhere.Can a wrongly wound strimmer pass out ten foot of string in less than twenty seconds? Can the blade on the shield thingies cut it into so many very tiny bits that you can't see them?

To cap it all, the phantom van tyre letter-downer has come back. Earlier in the year, mostly on Sundays, we would suddenly find one tyre flat although CCTV picked up nothing. We took it to a local tyre shop and they replaced the valve which had the tiniest of leaks and they said it could not possibly have caused the tyre to totally flatten over a few hours as we described. Nevertheless, it seemed ok after that, so we assumed that the leak was variable due to the faulty valve shifting in the wheel. Then on Saturday we parked it, it was fine at Sunday lunch time but totally flat a couple of hours later. We pumped it up again and the pressure did not alter one iota overnight. It has not dropped one iota in 2 days. No way any normal leak can explain that.

We will set up the CCTV again this weekend. If it picks up nothing again we really are going to start believing in evil spirits.

Will the minister explain his figures? Of course not.

In defending the idiotic scale of foreign aid a minister has said:

If we had tackled the deep causes of poverty and dysfunctionality in Somalia and Afghanistan, we would not have to grapple with the symptoms today. These problems affect us here – terrorism, the drugs trade and illegal migration. If we want to tackle these problems at home, we have to understand and address their root causes abroad. Some people say we can't afford to engage in international development, but we can't afford not to.

It costs four times as much to deal with such problems years later as it does to tackle them upstream, he said

Oh really? This looks like utter bullshit. Saying things is easy, actually doing something effective is something else. Even in the context of the UK's own problems, which are simple by comparison, how often do we hear that we need to invest more money to solve some problem only to find, decades later, that little has changed and the money has largely been wasted? Was pouring money into these corrupt, divided and fanatical societies that we have little influence over really going to do anything apart from help increase the population by 25m in 50 years as it has done? Why should we be able to control religious fanaticism and crime half a world away when we can't even manage to do it in Luton or Bradford or the streets of North London?

Look for studies that claim foreign aid as a success and they deal only with effect on poverty and not the affects on other factors that he mentions. Assuming they are correct, to what extent does aid stimulate growth? According to this one, 1 per cent of gross domestic product in aid given to a poor but well-managed country can increase its growth rate by a sustained 0.5 percentage points. GDP per capita is the more important factor and that will be lower as one effect of that wasted 0.5% is to expand the population. So, putting it another way, in excess of 50% of aid even to well managed countries is wasted.

"Well managed" is critical here because a point that these studies all make is that aid has a positive impact on growth in developing countries with good fiscal, monetary and trade policies but has little effect in the presence of poor policies. Most studies have been made on sub Saharan countries which are models of prudence, financial rectitude and stability compared to Afghanistan and Somalia which do not even have generally accepted governments. Can we really be optimistic that aid to those will achieve anything at all?

Even if there was any measurable effect of aid on wealth in these countries how would it reduce immigrants and asylum seekers coming to Europe? Somalia has a population of 10m and a GDP per head of $139 while Poland has a GDP per head of $11,273. Assuming it was 100% effective in raising living standards you would need to give Somalia $11 trillion and that would not stop migration to the UK with its GDP per capita of $35,165 because Poles are still flocking here.

How would it reduce international terrorism (not the same as religious extremism) when that is not correlated to wealth? Many terrorists have come from wealthy Saudi Arabia and Osama Bin Laden was from a wealthy family. Some would-be terrorists in the UK have been from well off families too, so why does he imagine that pouring money into Afghanistan will cure fanaticism?

Still, we at bloggoth are engineers and if there is some evidence of something we are quite willing to look at it and change our minds if the argument is convincing enough. Maybe the minister can give us details of investments in such places that have proved to have been a success? This very specific figure of a list of things being four times better with aid than without is obviously based on some brilliant study that has not been released to the world yet. It could not possibly be that a government minister is just wildly making up numbers could it? Perhaps the minister would supply a reference for this learned treatise so we can all read it?

Minister?

Minister?

Minister?

PS We were going to send the Minister a very polite email saying we were most interested in his speech and would love to learn the basis for his "four times" figure but he only accepts correspondence from his constituents. How convenient.

Unbelievable

What sort of disgusting people kidnap an elderly disabled woman?

There are many nations that are heartily disliked by others, Greece for its profligacy, Iran or North Korea for repression, nukes and nutty leaders, Saudi Arabia for its intolerant Islamism, the US/UK/France for their interference abroad but in many cases it is the leadership rather than the people as a whole who are to blame. Get rid of that Roy Orbison look-alike and his heirs, for example, and what is to stop North Korea being as successful as many countries of that region? Even when the problems are wider than that you can still see upsides and imagine that things can improve.

Unfortunately, in a few cases you look for positives and there are none. What looms large are the awful things, widely perpetrated or supported by the populace, that happen in the countries themselves; the terrorism, the religious conservatism, crime and piracy they export and the negative economic impact of underperforming emmigrants on other countries. These places are not going to improve much in a hundred years, if that.

We would all be much better off if they disappeared from the face of the Earth. Our current smoking pit list would be Somalia, Pakistan and Mexico. Come friendly bombs...

Come Scandal Dancing

We at bloggoth and the missus bloggoth will not be going out on Saturday evenings for a while, that godawful Come Dancing is back on our screen with another bunch of so called celebrities and she won't miss it. Some Italian woman was on it and according to the missus her main claim to fame was being the lover of that overpaid dipstick Sven Goran Eriksson. So being bonked by a well known person makes you a celebrity?

It's given us a great idea for a new Come Dancing format though, we might write to the BBC about it. It involves a lot of ex politicians and past it celebrities like the current one but rather than the individuals themselves it "stars" the alleged Note 1 illicit liasons of celebrities. Nothing generates more interest than a scandal and it will be an absolute hit that will break all viewing records for shows of this type. Our provisional list is:

  • The 52 year sex worker that Wayne Rooney allegedly had a paid session with.

  • The unknown black guy that former Welsh secretary Ron Davies allegedly tried to have a moment of madness with on Clapham Common. We would have preferred the badger he allegedly had a moment of madness with off the M4 near Bath but fear it may have been run over by now, busy road that.

  • Divine Brown, who allegedly sucked off Hugh Grant in a car in Los Angeles. Note 2 In accordance with further advice by our solicitor we should add that Hugh Grant was only allegedly sucked off, we at bloggoth do not want to be sued by either party. To backtrack a bit, we would like to add that any activity by that badger was only alleged too, just in case it has not been run over and has a good solicitor.

  • One or more of the German sado-masochistic prossies that FIA president Max Mosley allegedly indulged in Nazi style fantasies with. Actually, it would be great if the BBC could get all of these alleged ladies, Anton Du Beke would be great dancing with all of them at once. We think he could choreograph something really special with material like that, although Craig Revell Hallwood would still only give it 2 probably.

  • Gary Glitter's alleged... oh no, hang on a minute. Maybe we need to work on this a bit more.

Note 1: Alleged has been inserted throughout on advice from our lawyers.

Note 2: The lady made a fortune from that alleged encounter, allegedly. Good for her, about time some ordinary people got some reward out of the alleged behaviour of celebrities. We seem to recall all the papers at the time said she was plain, looks ok to us. We would, although she probably doesn't do it for 99p anymore. If we can't get sex for 99p nowadays we don't usually bother.


PS: Always check the spelling of allegedly. Apparently some blogger got successfully sued after he spelt it alledgedly, like we usually do. The judge held that it didn't count in avoiding a suit for defamation.

Not all her fault

Actually, it isn't all the missus's fault we are staying at home on Saturday night 'cos Merlin is back - wahee!. Somebody we know Note 1 says it is a little "diverse" to properly represent 6th century Britain but pointing out elements of unrealism in a show with dragons and wizards is maybe a little academic. Anyway, the village club has an Elvis impersonator on tonight - yech!

Note 1: Oh, ok, this "somebody we know" is actually us but only before we've had a few vodkas. After a few vodkas we are as liberal and inclusive as can be.

Confusion

We at bloggoth are getting really worried about our memory, we simply cannot remember names of celebrities - a form of dementia that will surely cut one off from the modern world more than any other.

The missus was watching some old western crap today, it had some bloke we really loathed in it, absolutely no idea why, everyone has people like that surely? Oh yes, it's George Hamilton according to the credits. Anyway that twat Hamilton was punching out some other bloke we did like, he was in Death Wish and The Great Escape, wtf was his name? Hang on, it's coming. Oh yes, Richard Branson. Amazing chap, not many people are successful in Hollywood and go on to found a major British Airline.

PS But wasn't he also that demented killer who murdered Catherine Tate? Famous comediennes had better avoid flying Virgin.

Out of nothing at all

Something else we are not supposed to mention?

We have noticed it for some years. Why is it that in so many cases of doctors assaulting female patients the doctors have foreign, especially Indian, names? On the first 10 pages of Google after typing "doctor assaults patient" the British cases of sexual assault of female patients listed in newspapers only (no blogs etc) make up this list - Dr Amit Yadav, Priyantha Kandanearachchi, Dr Mahend Bissonauth, Kanval Nagpal, Dr Clifford Ayling, Adil Shareef, Dr Samir Asad, Haleem Bhatti, Dr Narendra Sharma. Is this just pure coincidence? Not checked them all but the picture in Australia seems similar too.

Such offences are not that common but there are wider problems with doctors who trained overseas due to poor English and other unspecified failings:

NHS doctors who qualify overseas are far more likely to be banned or suspended then those who graduate in the UK, according to a report.

...

The report found that differences in referral rates between doctors in secondary care were down to place of qualification and training.

There were no differences in levels of concern between white and non-white doctors who qualified in the UK.

So why do we need Indian or any other foreign-trained doctors? We are told there is a shortage of doctors but the same article states that a significant cause was the implementation of the EU working time directive last year:

The European Working Time Directive, which was fully introduced into the NHS last August, limits doctors to working no more than 48 hours per week and has left gaps on rotas.

Some district general hospitals have had trouble attracting enough staff to cope with the changes leading, in some cases, to services being cut.

Another major problem was the utter cockup by the last awful Labour government in the recruitment system three years ago:

The problem was caused by changes introduced last year in the system for recruiting junior doctors to training posts that could qualify them to become consultants.

The government was forced to abandon an online application process after hundreds of excellent candidates were not given interviews. But it pressed ahead with plans to fill all the posts in August instead of staggering recruitment through the year, as happened previously.

The BMA said gaps in hospital staffing rotas are now appearing whenever a junior doctor gets promoted to consultant, or leaves for other reasons.

Another factor in the shortage of doctors may be increasing demand for them due to immigration:

Black and minority ethnic (BME) groups generally have worse health than the overall population, although some BME groups fare much worse than others,

But maybe the major reasons in the longer term why the UK can't provide its own doctors is to be found in this British council document:

UK undergraduate medical schools take 7.5 per cent of their intake from overseas.

Overseas doctors who qualify in a UK medical school can make the same professional progress in UK hospitals as graduates from the UK and European Economic Area (EEA).

.....

Competition for undergraduate places at medical schools is intense. There are far fewer places than applicants.

So let's sum up. We have a system in which the doctor shortage is caused by ill-thought out EU initiatives, government incompetence, inability to control low skilled third world imigration and a failure to provide the resources we need to train our own doctors. We then exacerbate the shortage of training spaces for British students and limit their future prospects by taking in foreign ones and giving them all the same rights to practice in the UK. To attempt to make up for this shambles we then import even more who put patient lives at risk.

You do have to wonder if those allegations about a deliberate destruction of British society are a reality.

Update: Only seen one case of a doctor assaulting a female patient since writing this. Naturally we made a racist assumption. How appalling!! Oh dear, right again. Isn't it odd how racist assumptions are very often right?

Explode

Ghastly crying kid in the high street today - sounded like a yowling cat. In the garden the screaming and shouting noise from the kids two doors up is awful. One's own kids were ok (and always totally well behaved of course) but other people's kids are just ghastly.

The only plus point for other people's kids over one's own, at least other people's never made the wife's fanny feel like the Mersey Tunnel.

Let's all read The Daily Star - problems sorted

We at bloggoth have never understood economics because as an engineer we expect things to be logical and can find no logic in it whatever.

What in strictly physical terms - number of houses, number of trading companies, people with jobs, infrastructure, fields to grow food etc is any different today than a few weeks ago when it all started to go pear shaped again? It's all about fear and perception and the reason for that is that those who "understand" economics, mostly the people who make a very nice living shuffling money around, panic and infect everyone else. Then we get the real problems, banks won't lend, businesses go broke, people lose their jobs and people stop spending for fear of losing their jobs, causing more businesses to go broke, making banks less willing to lend etc, etc, etc.

What we need is total ignorance on and indifference to the subject to match that of we at bloggoth. Everyone should buy only The Daily Star or OK Magazine and marvel at what the celebrities are up to. They can look around and see everything still looks much the same and nothing really bad is happening except in ghastly places like Pakistan or Somalia that nobody sane gives a shit about anyway.

A new series of Come Dancing starts soon. Fantastic! So what's the problem?

Contradictions

The Dubliners - Molly Malone. She died of the fever and sure no one could save her and that was the end of Sweet Molly Malone. Now her ghost wheels her barrow through the streets broad and narrow, crying cockles and mussels, alive, alive oh.

Hmmm. So her ghost is wheeling live mussels through the streets? Or where they really the ghosts of dead mussels but she did not know the difference? Always a problem for those who believe that ghosts are spirits of the dead, how do they have clothes, swords, mussels, whatever, unless those things have spirits too?

Maybe the dead can create things around them that they were used to or loved in life. Brill. I am going to come back with a horde of waspies and sting MR PIKEY SCUM to death.

PS Unless of course a big chunk of satellite falls on the bastard this Friday.

The bad luck continues

The Stockwell Mosque is being accused of links to extremists in Pakistan. This is surely a false accusation, the Stockwell Mosque has never been linked to extremism has it?. Well, apart from that time it hasn't, has it?.

It may be that the current mosque leaders are trying to tackle radicalism as they say, that they may even have warned the police of dangerous individuals before 7/7 as they say. Trouble is, we keep hearing these protestations of moderation from mosque leaders but they keep getting caught out when they think no one is looking. The way this bullshit goes is illustrated rather well by this:

The East London Mosque’s response to accusations of extremism has three stages. First there are the injured protestations of its deep commitment to community cohesion, democracy, etc, often accompanied by straightforward lying – in 2009, for instance, the mosque’s assistant director, Shaynul Khan, claimed that “Anwar Al-Awlaki did not give a lecture via video link at an event held at the East London Mosque.” Then there are silly legal threats from its libel lawyers, again often based on lies: tedious, but perfectly easy to see off if you know what you’re doing.

Finally, if none of that works and their backs are absolutely against the wall, the mosque will crank out one of their statements claiming they’ve banned hate preachers. The supply of bad guys will dry up for a month or two, then as soon as the coast is clear they’ll start creeping back again. Let's hope it's different this time. But you’ll forgive me, I'm sure, for being a little sceptical about the East London Mosque’s “good faith.”

We agree. It is hard for us Islamophobes to take any protestations of moderation by mosques seriously. We checked the one closest to us and found that supporters of Al-Muhajiroun and Omar Bakri used to meet there and that two of the London fertiliser bomb plotters held a Sunday school there. Are there any moderate mosques at all? Any which have not allowed radical groups to openly target young men, which have not hosted extremist preachers? We suspect there are very few outside the Ahmadiyya community. That they all profess to be moderate we also have no doubt.

Islamophobe: Noun. One who is not a total idiot.

Associations with the sex industry

The bastards will try and make money out of anything. Since the announcement of the new .xxx domain for adult sites our hosters have been sending us emails about registering www.xoggoth.xxx to prevent it being used for an adult site and having our brand tainted by association with the sex industry. The fee is a mere £199!

Are they kidding? Even if it was only £1.99, why would we not want xoggoth.org tainted by an association with porn? Having heard the name xoggoth in connection with great porn they might Google and think the org in xoggoth.org stands for orgasm or orgy! If a few click on this site by mistake that will be a great way to get more hits and much simpler than all the boring SEO things like swapping links with other blogs that we can't be arsed to do.

PS We are rather surprised the government has never registered www.xoggoth.gov.uk. What better way for a government to appear sane and sensible by association?

PPS Apparently a portion of the proceeds from an .XXX domain purchase are donated to IFFOR, a Non-Profit Foundation which "aims to ensure the highest standards of privacy, security, free speech; and child protection" I wouldn't want my money funding such do-goody, nannyish stuff! Why don't they spend the money properly by ensuring the highest standards of porn? Especially fat lady bumhole porn.

More giants

We have mentioned before how an 80 foot giant was wandering around leaving fingerprints on our greenhouse. Now we have a 15,000 foot giant leaving fingerprints on our conservatory.

It's just condensation! cry the non existent readers. Ok clever dicks, pleace provide your detailed mathematical simulations showing how these patterns are a function of factors like convective air flows, variances in roof conductivity and our enormous monthly repayments. Until then, giants with grubby fingers is a much more likely explanation.

PS Those ugly lumps of moss from the gutters are chucked there by Dwarf Gutter Gibbons. Bloody nuisance they are.

Endangered

It seems that House Sparrows are an endangered species in the UK.

There are plenty at xoggoth Towers although we have noticed a distinct migration. Until earlier this year they were mostly in a dense MR PS bush near our fence from which it was a short flutter to our bird table. Since we started putting out cheap seed they have moved to a similar large bushy thing in our garden close to the other fence from which it is a short flutter to our nice neighbour's bird table where they can enjoy posh and expensive RSPB seed.

Clearly, it is the recession and money saving bastards like us who are driving them away.

Archie 10

Latest adventures of Archie

Multi porn and nature

Good nature program on TV last night. Showed baby Tasmanian Devils being sexed in the pouch - free animal child porn - wahee! It also had an interesting thing on the Mountain Chicken Frog, a species in which the female feeds the tadpoles with a stream of unfertilised eggs! Imagine this translated into human behaviour. Or perhaps not.

Anyway, less exciting, but here is a NICE little Garden Spider. Oh no, hang on, he/she is not nice at all, he/she is eating a NICE little Bee. The bastard!

PS Odd how similar the colours are. Clearly these species have similar tastes in fashion.

Insurance - an even bigger con than we think?

It's not just from the rip off merchants (Oh Yes!) who try and cook up bizarre reasons to discount your claim. Many must profit because people who could claim do not. Suppose someone with fatal accident insurance gets killed in an accident or with critical illness cover falls into a coma? How often does it happen that they don't leave records somewhere they can be found and never got round to telling their relatives about it? Or they have had the insurance for so long everyone has forgotten?

Street Fashion

Talking of London, it is not a very safe place at night and street crime has increased enormously in the last decade. We have no idea who is doing it obviously.

Clearly, it does not pay to look worth mugging. We at bloggoth are experts in looking not worth mugging. You have to look scruffy and mean enough to only have a fiver in your wallet for a shopping spree at the pound shop and a 4 year old cheap mobile phone from Asda. On the other hand, you want to show you are an educated white collar sort who will pursue a complaint and get yourself taken seriously by the police rather than a vulnerable incoherent alcoholic tramp who probably wouldn't and can be kicked around just for the fun of it.

It's a fine line. One essential piece of equipment is the free man bag. We always get one when our company has a stand at an annual exhibition. It is plainly free, having the promoting company's name on it. It a bag that clearly holds nothing more valuable than library books, a pack of tissues and a copy of Viz but it also says you are the sort of person who attends educational exhibitions and will pester the police daily until they get you.

PS Unlike some man bags, there is also nothing gay about the free man bag. No self respecting gay man would use that bag for his make up and super strength bum condoms. This is another essential characteristic of a man bag, especially in places like Shoreditch.

PPS Phew! Glad we got through that one without questioning the wonders of our diverse society.

Shoreditch - hub of the world

On the tube yesterday and there was this strangely dressed chap, tight black trousers, old fashioned light grey and black tweed sports jacket, thick framed glasses that were only marginally less wierd than those worn by Dame Edna Everage and a bowler hat. According to #2 son he was probably from Shoreditch, apparently a very arty area, Tracy Emin used to live there. He reckons that whatever is fashion in Shoredith will sooner or late spread to the world. Looked a bit gay, I opined, reminded me of something that Gilbert and George might wear. Ah yes, it seems they live there too.

I went to a Gilbert and George exhibition in Edinburgh once, not impressed, I think if I was asked to produce an artwork for a major exhibition I could manage some spunk on shit too. Have they ever actually painted anything? Most of their work not involving bodily fluids just seems to be collage, the sort of thing one can do with Photoshop effects. Still, some of their works, like this one are colourful and interesting and would brighten up a wall but it's impossible to find any positives in Tracy Emin's rubbish. If you think this is crap, wait until you see this.

PS We at bloggoth do apologise most profusely for not being enormously impressed by Gilbert and George. According to that link the paintings are:

suffused with tenebrous solemnity, they have all of the dramatic visual impact which one might expect to find in neo-Gothic medievalism – in Victorian reclamations of Celtic or Moorish symbolism, for example, regally bejewelled and portentous with romantic mysticism. ...possess a darkly graven strangeness, at once archaic and ultra-modern, in which their temper no less than their signage appears deeply contemporary, ritualistic and disturbed.

Yes of course, how could we not have seen that?

Bizarre concerns

Are we at bloggoth the only ones to worry about things that that are totally impossible?

While paying a bill online today we noticed that our old company was listed among the possible payees and decided to delete it. On the confirmation page it said "Please note that you will not be able to cancel or amend any existing scheduled payments for this payee once their details have been deleted" and thought, hang about, should we confirm this? What if there is an outstanding payment to this company that has not traded for 4 years and is in process of being closed down and whose own bank account was shut 3 months ago? Maybe we made a payment by mistake or some payment is still in limbo after 4 years or maybe...

A few years back we worked at home doing software for a satellite company and regularly sent them processed satellite images. We used to worry that we had sent them some porn pics by mistake although the images were in a special format created from raw satellite data and we never downloaded internet porn on that PC anyway, far too risky malware wise. The only way they could have contained anything rude is if the satellite had passed over some land features that looked rude or if Sony were selling CDs with porn already on them.

PS There is a place in Western Kazakhstan that looks like... Well anyway, we have some images, only £50 ($4894382388278412828941) to the usual address. They can't touch you for it.

Liberal, conservative, left, right, we basically think the same, so why this silly pretence?

Nothing brings out the dishonesty of liberal lefist ideas than a tragedy. Tonight the main news on the BBC is dominated by the accidental deaths of 4 Welsh miners. Welsh shadow secretary of state Peter Hain has felt this is so relevant to the British that he has taken a leading role in making announcements about it. On the other hand, 200 drowned due to a boat capsizing in Zanzibar scarcely rated a mention and the latest round of flooding in Pakistan that has affected 2 million people hasn't exactly captured the headlines either.

This not a criticism of Hain or those responsible for the news in the BBC or the press generally - they are purely responding to the concerns of the British people and presumably their own. This is the natural order of priorities that we all follow, ourselves, our families, our friends, our acquaintances, those like us and our nation in that order. By "we" we mean all mankind; do those in other countries give major tragedies in the UK anything even approaching the same coverage as they do lesser ones in their own? Of course not.

Why then, regardless of their natural instincts, do so many feel driven by the conceptual notion that we should have an equal concern for the world in general, even when that concern comes at the expense of our own citizens?

Daft

All in favour of people with health problems or disabilities being included as much as possible. It benefits us all if they are part of society and encouraged to achieve to the best of their ability.

There are no hard and fast divides between ability and inability, it is all relative and it is just conveivable that some may even be better at some things than we at bloggoth, although obviously we can't possibly think what they might be. In previous volunteer work people with mental health problems have played a major part.

All the same, inclusiveness does seem to have got rather silly. We got a council form to volunteer for countryside maintenance - clearing undergrowth, thinning out trees, digging out ditches, that sort of thing and it's darn hard work. The form asks, "so they can make suitable adjustments to the volunteer environment and better support you in your role" for details of "relevant disabilities or health issues (e.g. bad back)".

People with bad backs should be shifting logs and digging ditches? Bit like asking people with Aspergers to council the suicidal.

Topic: Daft       Comment here.       Comments so far: 0

Why?

Why does cold make nipples get bigger while balls and willies get smaller? Has anyone done an experiment to see the effect of absolute zero? Would nipple size become infinite? That would be great, but if willy size became zero you couldn't do much about it.

We shouldn't generalise? True but, practically speaking, generalisations make sense

Looks like another appalling act by Somalis. As for Somali migrants to the West, anyone who pretends they are an asset is truly living in a fantasy world.

Sure, it can sometimes be innacurate to make assumptions about a group purely on national lines. In the US, Somalis raise major concerns about Islamic fanaticism. In the UK, while Somali gangs and welfare use are problems, they are rarely involved in extremism. In most of East London, Bangladeshis are way behind the national average in terms of income and acheivement but in Bristol only slightly so. Based on the prison statistics, Pakistani crime is an issue nationally and problems in Bradford and Birmingham regularly hit the headlines but there is little Asian crime in London and the home counties.

Is this surprising? Hardly, look at the enormous variations in our own society. There can be big cultural differences within one nation, it's just that when we are critical outsiders we don't see them. Rather like Al Capone in 1930s America, the gangsters weren't so much an Italian problem as a Scicilian one. Somalia used to be a fairly moderate Islamic country and the fanaticism has not spread to all quarters so maybe the Yanks got more people from the radical areas. Maybe Bristol got the more educated Bangladeshis and London the more educated Pakistanis. This isn't really surprising either and can be accounted for by recommendation and acquaintance - a wealthy British person does not emigrate to a place in Spain that is full of British chavs. Maybe numbers are a factor too, smaller communities cannot so easily live outside the mainstream, they are obliged to mix, to learn English and fit in in other ways.

So yes, these blanket judgements we make about those of other nations can be pretty innacurate. On the other hand, we do not know enough to make a more informed judgement, we cannot spend half our lives delving into the social and economic variations in every country that migrants are likely to come from. We can't be expected to know that that xxx is an upmarket town of prosperous types while yyy 20 miles away is a notorious gangsterland.

Our governments should be making stringent checks on individuals seeking to remain in the UK and if they did that, generalisations of any sort would not be necessary. Since they cannot or will not do so, blanket generalisations are the only things we have to go on and those from poorly educated, broken, high crime or religiously conservative states should not be allowed in at all. While some individuals or those from certain regions or groups may be an asset, these people as a whole never are.

Something doesn't add up here

As we have said before, the concept of "jobs the British don't want to do" often does not make sense because many of the jobs unskilled migrants do are not jobs that should be done at all. Telepests, cold callers or people who hang around shopping malls thrusting leaflets at you are just bloody nuisances and if these jobs were banned it would benefit us all. Other jobs, waitering in tiny ethnic restaurants or data processing for example, are not so obviously useless but if the pay is so low that the worker has to resort to welfare, how does that help the UK economy? The bosses are profiting from these low paid workers at the expense of the tax payer. Businesses like this we do not need.

But there is something even odder about all this. In many shops, bars, cafes and restaurants you are likely to be served by Eastern Europeans. They seem pleasant and do a good job but 6 or 7 years ago, before Poland and other Eastern European countries joined the EU, those same jobs were filled by British workers and they seemed pleasant and did a good job too. After nearly 65 years of the welfare state, are we really to believe there has suddenly been a huge change for the worse in British attitudes over 6 years? Unlikely. The BBC had a news item tonight on youth unemployment and interviewed some who had been deperately looking for jobs without success. They mostly appeared quite bright and articulate, not at all the lazy uneducated chavs some news stories try to portray as typical of modern British youth.

So what is going on?

  • One factor is the huge number of migrants; that in itself will significantly reduce the chances of a British applicant and increase the length of time he/she will be without work. A long period without work looks bad on a CV and will further diminish prospects. Maybe that problem is less likely to apply to migrants; do employers always ask when they entered the UK?

  • Even jobs in cafes usually require previous experience and the employer will be familiar enough with British companies, places, practices and equipment in the UK to spot any embelishments at interview. Almost none will know anything about the catering industry in Warsaw.

  • Could it also be that any shortcomings at interview will be seen as lack of confidence, stupidity or dishonesty in a British worker but just as language problems with a migrant? A problem that is likely to diminish?

  • They may also check references for British applicants because it only takes a phone call but are we seriously to believe that cafe owners employ interpreters to contact referees in Eastern Europe or further afield? Given that care homes, which are supposed to thoroughly check staff applicants to protect of the residents, have previously been found to be employing hundreds of illegal immigrants it seems most unlikely.

    This is not an even playing field for British applicants although in Britain it should not be one; the British should come first. We owe nothing to those of other nations and we have no duty to provide them with jobs or anything else except to the extent that their countries reciprocate by providing for our citizens. If that is not in accord with EU directives, well bollox to the EU.

    The idea of the lazy unemployable Brit is a self fulfilling prophecy. Keep taking in cheap migrants and leave British youth out of work for long enough, make them think there is no real hope, and the feckless white underclass can only expand. What then? More migrants? And how long before those earlier migrants are affected in turn by our untackled welfare culture, an overemphasis on the self, a sense of entitlement and a rotten education system and become a feckless underclass themselves, like some minorities in the UK have already.

    Design of man is a bit crappy

    Why is so much of our brain wasted by storing information we are never likely to need again, such as the direction of the nearest fish and chip shop from a hotel you stayed at in Cleethorpes? You usually only need such stuff once for a short time so far better if we stored it temporarily in the biological equivalent of a USB memory stick. Maybe we could tap into the brain of a special type of fetus as temporary storage. Once it gets full, just abort it and grow a new one.

    Talking of hotels, it would be much cheaper if we each had some basic accomodation in the form of a shell. Four star features like a bar, jacuzzi and 72" TV might be a bit heavy to carry about but a thin snail type shell would provide basic shelter from the weather, as good as a tent anyway.

     

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