ADOPT AN ENDANGERED BRITISH SLUG TODAY

Help save the slugs in xoggoth's garden from local extinction. If these magnificant creatures disappear from this unique habitat there will be no slugs left nearer than next door.

You can save a slug by donating just 5. Do it today!

Please do not check the conditions below and then click the YES button at the bottom of the page when you will be redirected to a secure OrderFraud site where you can make your donation.

Terms and conditions

Yes! I want to save slugs! I appreciate that as Slugs are much more common than Pandas there are so many more that need to be saved if they are not to become extinct. I therefore wish to adopt 1000 slugs at a cost of only 5 each.

I understand that in return for my donation I will receive a photocopied picture of a slug. I will also be able to name any three of my adopted slugs with a name of my choosing as long as all the names begin with S in accordance with xoggoth's infantile sense of humour.

I further understand that I will not be able to visit and have carnal relations with an adopted slug without payment of a further fee of 100 per slug. The adopted slug allocated to me for this purpose will be chosen at random and will not necessarily be the most attractive.

In making a payment I further accept the following conditions of OrderFraud Inc:

  1. If there is any delay in making good the payment amount, OrderFraud reserves the right to take civil action to recover the amount owed. Civil action will include but not be limited to, large Albanian gentlemen who will come round and break your legs.

  2. In the event of late payment OrderFraud will add a surcharge to cover inflation. The inflation rate will be determined by reference to the Zimbabwean dollar.

  3. Your card details will be circulated to interested third parties in Eastern Europe and any withdrawals made may be used to finance drug deals and human trafficking.